Gender Confusion Confusion
by TheRealEvanSG
Summary: Luffy eats a pink fruit. Zoro drinks from a pink fountain. The next day, they wake up to find that they have become Lucy and Zoe - - girl versions of themselves! Then enemy pirates attack and things escalate from there. Warnings: Fem!Luffy, Fem!Zoro, Loss of Family Jewels, and Breaking of the Fourth Wall (no thanks to Robin). Eventual LuNa and hints of ZoRo.
1. The Problem

Chapter 1: The Problem

Nami, navigator and cartographer of the Straw Hat Pirates, was an expert on _weird_. She'd climbed a mountain with a ship, promptly been eaten by a while, seen dinosaurs and giants, been eaten by a giant goldfish, had fallen ill due to a tick that was supposed to be extinct, crossed a desert island with a princess in tow, and visited an _island in the sky_.

But this... this was another concept altogether.

"I still don't get this," Luffy said, pouting and grabbing at the two rather large, and very awkward, orbs now hanging off his chest. "What the hell's going on, anyway?"

Zoro growled in anger. "I'm nowhere near as strong as I was yesterday. What the hell!? Maybe Kuina's dad was right about that whole thing about girls being weaker than guys. How did this even happen in the first place?"

Nami sighed. "We've been through this, Luffy and Zoro... er, Lucy and Zoe."

"Eh!? Why Lucy!?"

"Don't call me Zoe..."

"It's because you're, well, not boys anymore, Luf - - Lucy, Zoe. Think about it. What if this... er... condition lasts for a while? What if at the next island we stop at, the locals hear us calling you 'Luffy' and 'Zoro?' They'll think you're weird, and you still look enough like you did before that the locals might start making connections. Until Chopper finds a way to reverse this, you're gonna have to get used to it."

Even for the Grand Line, this situation redefined the word 'crazy.' Nami wasn't quite sure whether to laugh at her captain and first mate's obvious discomfort in their new bodies, or to sympathize with them. She thought back to the source of The Problem, as Usopp had ever so creatively coined it. Her memories of yesterday weren't very clear, considering she'd been having a drinking contest with the locals of the last island, but she seemed to recall something about Luffy eating a strange-looking pink fruit and Zoro sipping from a weird-ass fountain with pink water. The villagers, of course, had warned them against eating or drinking anything on the island colored pink, but Zoro and Luffy, being the idiots that they were, ignored the advice and did it anyway.

Now they were...

...Girls.

They both actually made quite cute girls, and Sanji probably wouldn't have been able to recognize them if not for the fact that he'd been there at the time they ate and drank the pink stuff. As it was, when the crew had discovered the change earlier that morning, the ero-cook had locked himself away in the kitchen and refused to come out until a cure was ready.

Luffy... er, Lucy, was even shorter now than he had been before. He had lost at least two or three inches, and he hadn't exactly been tall. Or even medium-height. To tell the truth, Luffy was probably the shortest of the entire crew, girls included. But now that he had been genderbent, as Robin had put it, he was about the height of a tall midget. By Nami's estimate, the newly-turned girl was a whopping 5'4". He had long, smooth black hair flowing down his back that seemed to fascinate him. As he whined and complained about loosing strength and his off-center balance, she saw him run his hands through his new hair. Luffy's other features had also turned rather feminine. His innocent, wide onyx eyes had shrunk a little and grown even softer. The scar present over his left eye had become so thin it was almost non-existent. His hands were smaller, more delicate, and he had curves that almost made Nami jealous, his breasts (at least a D-cup) almost spilling out of his tighter-than-normal red vest. How did her _boy_ captain have a better hourglass figure than her? It just wasn't fair!

Zoro - - _Zoe_ - - had a more tomboyish look, on the other hand. The swordsman (swordswoman?) had managed to keep his hair at shoulder length, whereas Luffy's touched the small of his back. His hair had also become slightly greener, though it made him, dare Nami say it, a bit cuter. His face had morphed into a heart shape, but he was kind of flat chested, and unlike Luffy, had actually grown taller since last night, though he had clearly lost a lot of the muscles he'd trained hard for.

Both of them were absolutely horrified by the loss of their 'package' - - though Luffy apparently called it his 'family jewels.' A bit too much information for the poor navigator.

She had brought the two ex-boys into the women's cabin to find them something to wear, but that had been what seemed like hours ago. With Zoro and Luffy's constant complaining, she hadn't been able to get anything done.

"I still don't get what the use for boobs are," Zoe grumbled. "They're big and awkward and kinda itchy."

Lucy glared daggers at him. "You're _flat chested_. Don't complain when you don't have boobs the size of watermelons, like me."

Nami raised an eyebrow. Since when did Luffy know anything, or care, about female parts?

Zoe's eye twitched. "Did you just say I'm _flat chested_?"

"Yeah," Lucy confirmed icily. "Got a problem with it?"

The two erupted into a flurry of sloppily placed kicks and punches, leaving the redhead to conclude that Luffy had become slightly more aggressive since the change and Zoe even more prideful. That was a bit surprising. And it came as a bit of a shocker that they were fighting over the size of their _chests_. Was Zoro actually jealous of Luffy? Nah, that couldn't be it. Maybe it was his confused hormones speaking. If the twos' bodies were anywhere near as confused as she was at the moment, then the genderbent captain and first mate must be feeling like a mini war was waging somewhere inside them.

"Girls, girls," Nami interjected. "You're both pretty. Now shut up and listen." The two froze and looked at her, shivering. The navigator wondered why they were always so scared of her when they were such monsters, but didn't ask any questions and took a deep breath. "Okay, as I said before on that last island we landed on - -"

"Taiyo Island," Lucy added helpfully.

Damn was it confusing having to think of them in their girl names...

"Yes, Lucy, I know," she sighed. The other _girl_ grumbled about the feminized name, but fell silent again under the redhead's gaze. "As I was saying, on Taiyo Island, you ate some weird pink fruit. Zoro drank out of a pink fountain. Now, the rest of us were _warned _not to eat or drink anything pink, because it would be cursed to swap your gender, but obviously you morons weren't listening."

"Luffy was running off to look at something," Zoe said. "I was just making sure he didn't get lost, but the next thing I knew, he had disappeared and I was really thirsty and there was a fountain nearby. So I drank from it."

Nami nodded. "Like I said, you're a moron. Sanji ran after you and _he_ knew better than to eat or drink pink. Well, now you two are girls. And being girls, you have slightly different centers of balance, which is why you two keep tripping all the time. Also, while it may be true that girls are generally less powerful than guys, we make up for it in speed and agility, so if you can just get your balance back, you should be able to fight on somewhat equal terms as your male selves."

Luffy - - gah, _Lucy_ - - had been strangely quiet throughout this explanation. "Oh. I think I get it. So we're less powerful, but we're faster? And we need to practice walking?"

"Uh... yeah." Nami blinked and added _being smarter_ to the expanding list of things that had changed since the genderswap. "Until you can get your centers of balance back, we may need to keep you away from any battles. It will also be a problem if we encounter Marines... Say, Lucy, is your body still rubber?"

The now-female captain of the Straw Hats stretched out his fuller-than-usual lips. "Yup."

"Okay, well, I guess whatever was wrong with the stuff you injested, it doesn't affect Devil Fruit abilities. That's good."

Zoe muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?" she asked. "I didn't catch that."

"I said, 'at least you get to keep your fighting abilities, Luffy,'" Zoro... _ZOE!_... grumbled.

Come to think of it, if they were girls now, so wouldn't the swordsman and the captain technically be _she's_, not _he's_? Nami figured if she called them by their appropriate genders, it might be easier to differentiate from their male counterparts.

Luckily, Lucy kept quiet after this remark and Nami was allowed to continue. "Yeah. Anyway, Robin and I will need to dress you up and make you two look your parts. After all, what if you went out in public looking like this? People would either think you're homeless, sluts, tomboys, or all three. Here that, Robin?" She eyed the detached ear and eye that had been keeping tabs on the situation inside the girl's cabin.

"But we _are_ tomboys," Zoro cut in. "If I'm gonna be forced to be a girl, then I'm not gonna prance around in some shitty pink dress or frills. No damn way!"

"Me neither," Lucy agreed, nodding so quickly his, no, _her_, hair fell in her face. She frowned in annoyance and pushed the night-colored locks back. "And I ain't dressin' like you or Robin. I dunno, it just makes me feel embarrassed even _thinking_ about that."

Okay, some serious changes must have been made in the two's mind frames. Luffy had never cared about how much he showed before, wearing a shirt that pulled your attention to his surprisingly firm-looking six pack. Which, Nami noted with some disappointment, had all but vanished since last night.

"Sorry, but that's pretty much all we have. I'm sure we can find something, though," Nami soothed quickly, seeing her soon-to-be roommates' anger flare up at her first assesment. "We'll just have to search. Hard."

A second later, Robin entered the room through the hatch in the storage room. "I'm here, Navigator-san," said the large-chested archaeologist. Nami really wished she would just call them by their names already. The beauty caught sight of Lucy and Zoe and blinked. "Ah. And here I thought my eye was playing tricks on me. Swordsman-chan looks rather cute, doesn't she?"

The Marimo's face heated up, though whether it was from anger or embarrassment, Nami couldn't tell thanks to this damned genderbending. "Oi!" she complained, looking like she was itching to pull out her swords, though they were currently leaning against the far wall. "Since when did you have the right to call me that!? And I'm not cute, dammit! I'm a guy! A GUY!"

Nami burst into snickers as Robin raised an eyebrow at her. "Your body certainly doesn't look like a man's."

"I don't have boobs! I can easily pass as a man! Just you watch! I'm a man anyway, so it shouldn't be too hard."

"But your eyes are so cute now, Swordsman-chan. They'd give it away immediately."

"...I'll wear glasses, then."

"Your butt is larger than any man's."

Zoe's eye twitched. "Dammit, woman!"

"Shishishi!" Lucy giggled, which actually sounded very beautiful in a girl's voice. Nami's cheeks tinged a little red at the thought of anything about _Luffy_ being beautiful. "You can't look like a man~! You can't look like a man~!"

"With a chest that size, you're not one to talk," the other newly-turned girl pointed out.

And thus they started fighting. Again. Robin watched in amusement.

"They seem to act rather like Zoro does with Sanji, don't they?" she mused.

"Yeah," Nami said. "This day just keeps getting more and more confusing."

One sighing in vexation and one giggling, the two girls delved into their closets to search for anything that their fellow females might be able to wear without complaining. Lucy and Zoe, caught up in their angry fight (how they were moving so smoothly with a largely reduced balance was beyond Nami), didn't notice.

Hiding in the kitchen, Sanji shivered.

"Luffy and Zoro... are girls..." he muttered in horror.

He wondered whether he should run screaming or be blasted back by the mother of all nosebleeds.

Lucy's boobs _were_ quite large.

* * *

><p><strong>And so the first chapter of my newest fanfiction is complete. My previous girl!Luffy one-shot, <em>Of Navigators and Captains<em>, got a good enough reception that I decided to make another fem!Luffy fanfic different from my major series, _One Piece: Full Blast_. Of course, this is a genderbending fic, whereas _ONC_ was Luffy born a girl. Well, I hope you enjoyed this new story! Stay tuned for more! This fanfiction will actually have a significant plot, trust me. I already have everything planned out. Now I just need to put it to words.  
><strong>

**Oh, and sorry, but there will not be any omake theaters for _Gender Confusion Confusion_, although I will still be replying to reviews. Speaking of which, please review! And don't forget to follow and/or favorite! Following will allow you to be updated whenever I post a new chapter of GCC, which will be a lot slower than OP FULL BLAST. Favoriting will show you really, really like this. And reviewing lets me know your exact thoughts. Note that although popularity is appreciated, it is not needed in any way, shape or form.**

**Happy Valentine's Day!**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	2. The Reactions

Chapter 2: The Reactions  
><span>

Nami, navigator and cartographer of the Straw Hat Pirates, had seen a lot of strange things in her life. She'd seen a man's body stretch and deflect bullets, cannonballs, and countless other blunt objects; she'd seen fishmen; she'd seen a guy split his body into hundreds of separate parts; she'd seen a woman who could make herself into a human spike ball; she'd witnessed men transforming into sand and lightning.

But seeing her captain and unofficial first mate turn into girls took the cake.

Lucy eyed her reflection in the mirror distastefully, glaring at the cute red bra that now adorned her rather large, and very awkward, chest.

"What the hell is this thing for?" she complained. "I ain't no girl. I don't need a bra!"

Nami facepalmed. How many times would she have to explain it? "Yes, you are..."

Zoe, chest restricted by a simple green bra, glared at Robin. "Why the hell do I need one? I'm _flat chested_. Aren't bras to keep boobs from bouncing around? Well, I don't have any damn boobs _to_ bounce around!"

"Flat chested!" Lucy snickered.

The swordswoman sent her a dirty look.

"It's more comfortable to wear a bra," the archaeologist explained. "Your breasts will rub against your shirt and most girls don't like that. Bras keep that from happening."

"Bandages would work just as well," Zoe argued.

Lucy nodded. "Let's just wear bandages instead of bras!"

"Sometimes bandages feel too tight," Nami said, quickly rejecting the idea. "A bra will fit better. Just be glad I decided to get bras in different sizes in case we got other girls on our crew."

"Yeah, yeah," Zoe grumbled.

Now that the two ex-boys had reluctantly accepted the idea of wearing a bra, Nami thought of all the work she'd have to go through to make them look presentable. She'd have to select a few choice outfits, style their hair, apply makeup... all with Robin's help, of course. The archaeologist, giving that same soft smile as always, had a knowing twinkle in her eye that told how much she was really looking forward to giving the newly-turned girls a full body makeover, Zoe in particular. The unofficial first mate was so die-hard manly that she would probably despise what Nami was thinking of.

Sure enough, the local Marimo's eye twitched. "Oi, oi, oi. You better not be thinking what I think you're thinking!"

Lucy took a step back nervously.

A smirk broke out on the navigator's lips. "I think it's time for a makeover!"

Needless to say, there was much kicking and screaming.

* * *

><p>Chopper had cured a lot of things in his life, and being a Straw Hat Pirate meant that he constantly had to make his skills a doctor better and better, because Luffy kept getting more and more injured with each battle he fought. But as quickly as he was improving, this situation stumped him.<p>

How was he supposed to turn a girl back into a boy?

The little reindeer hovered over a pile of herbs and notes, experimenting nervously. He thought hard. If he could just discover the source of Luffy and Zoro's genderbending problem, he would be so much closer to finding a cure. Hadn't the Taiyo Islanders said something about the soil? Apparently, some anomaly in the soil caused anything pink to change genders when ingested. But what was the anomaly? The doctor examined a pouch of soil he had (luckily) thought to take from Taiyo Island and compared it with soil from other islands.

It was slightly pinker than the rest of the samples.

"A different color," Chopper murmured, frowning. He dumped some of the soil under a microscope for a closer look. He covered the discs of three other microscopes with soil samples from the other islands and compared them.

Chopper _would_ find a way to cure the genderbending.

Otherwise, Luffy and Zoro would be stuck as Lucy and Zoe forever, and according to Robin, they had already begun to experience psychological changes. Who knew how distinct their girl forms might become from their male counterparts?

He _had_ to find a cure.

His nakamas' manhoods depended on it.

* * *

><p>Usopp considered himself to be the greatest storyteller on the planet, but as he fished off the side of the Going Merry, humming an off-key tune distractedly, even he had to admit that he couldn't have come up with something this crazy. A fruit and a fountain that swapped peoples' genders? If he told Kaya about this, she'd think he was insane! Not to mention it would hurt Luffy and Zoro's pride.<p>

Usopp recalled the events of that morning. He had been having a wonderful dream about showing Kaya the village of Elbaf, which he had become the leader of due to his incredible sniper skills. Then two loud, very feminine, and rather cute shouts of "KYAAAAA!" had jolted him awake. Growling in anger at the offending captain and first mate, he had sent them a glare... only to discover that two girls who looked remarkably like Zoro and Luffy were sitting in the captain and first mate's hammocks, staring down at their bodies with looks of shock, horror, and confusion.

The next "KYAAAAA!" had been his own.

Sanji woke up next, and almost got a nosebleed, but blinked at the last second, probably having remembered the words of the village elder of Sola Village, the port town on Taiyo Island they had landed on. The old man had warned them that eating or drinking anything pink would swap their genders due to some weird and unknown anomaly in the local soil. The crew hadn't exactly believed the village elder. Honestly, with a story like that, who would? But they had kept away from anything colored pink all the same.

All of them except Luffy and Zoro, that is. Those two idiots had completely ignored the elder's advice.

Usopp grunted and thought, _Now look what happens! I hope those two have learned their lesson_.

Sanji had looked himself in the kitchen and refused to come out immediately afterwards, saying that he would not look at Luffy or Zoro until Chopper found a cure. That was probably a very smart choice, the liar admitted. His captain and first mate made surprisingly cute girls. Chopper, on the other hand, had immediately freaked out upon his awakening, screaming about how the two needed a doctor and forgetting yet _again_ that _he_ was the doctor.

He had a feeling he wouldn't be able to burn the image of them as girls out of his mind for quite some time.

_Well,_ Usopp relented, _at least Nami and I aren't the weakest in the crew anymore._

* * *

><p>To say Nico Robin was surprised at this turn of events would be a bit of an overstatement. After all, they <em>had<em> been warned by Sola Village's village elder, Haruto-san, that this would happen if they ate or drank anything pink from Taiyo Island. Still, though, it was a bit of a surprise to see how cute Swordsman-chan looked as a girl. She hadn't really noticed her before, but thinking back on it, Robin had to admit that Zoe had been quite manly. Now she was remarkably feminine.

And after Robin had helped Nami with the two new girls' makeovers, they looked even _more_ girly. Captain-chan kept running her hands through her much longer hair, and although she probably wouldn't admit, Robin caught Swordsman-chan checking herself out when she thought the archaeologist, navigator, and captain weren't looking. The jealous glances towards Captain-chan's bust weren't missed, either.

She gave a soft smile. Being with this crew had made her feel much younger than thirty. Since she had joined after the Alabasta incident, she had even begun to forget her horrid past. For the first time in her life, people accepted her for who she was. Even Swordsman-chan accepted her to a point, though she was still clearly suspicious of the crew's enemy-turned-comrade. This was to be expected, of course, but it _was_ a bit surprising how easily she had won over the other crew members. Maybe it was because Captain-chan trusted her that they had been so willing to trust her as well, or perhaps they saw something in her that not even she did.

Whatever the case, Robin hoped it would last.

The archaeologist studied her first mate. "Navigator-san," she said at last, turning to the only other original girl on the crew, "don't you think Swordsman-chan would look cuter in a dress?"

Until now they'd been trying out simple green shirts and dark green pants, since the ex-boy rejected just about any other color except white and yellow. Once they had finished decking out Captain-chan with new attire, Nami had even attempted to add a yellow bow to the swordsman's hair, though Swordsman-chan had quickly discarded it, which Robin found a bit disappointing. She was having fun experimenting on the flustered girl.

Captain-chan, sporting a feminized outfit of her original and, of course, her straw hat, giggled at Swordsman-chan's distress. "Shishishi! Zoro in a dress! That's awesome!"

Navigator-san turned on her with a shark-like expression, punching the rubbergirl. "IT'S _ZOE_, NOT ZORO!"

"Ow! That really hurt!"

The redhead was oddly shamefaced, blushing in embarrassment and perhaps because of Captain-chan's improved puppy-dog eyes. "W-Well, just remember it, okay?" The other girl muttered. She turned to Robin, regaining her composure. "A dress, ne?" The cartographer's eyes sparkled. "We might just have to give it a try!"

Swordsman-chan, who had been too busy muttering about her new clothes and bra, as well as her reduced strength, to pay attention to the conversation, suddenly froze in horror.

However, at that moment, the captain and first mate's tormentors were interrupted by a panicked shout from Sanji and Usopp, as well as the sounds of cannon fire.

* * *

><p><strong>Huh. I said I wasn't gonna update soon, but I was bored, so here you go, I guess. XD Thanks for all the positive feedback on this fanfiction! I'm rather surprised that I got 11 follows and 8 favorites on the first chapter. I really appreciate it, minna! By the way, to clear up any confusion, <em>Gender Confusion Confusion <em>takes place any time between the Skypiea and Water 7/Enies Lobby arcs.**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Follow and/or favorite if you do! You'll be updated whenever I post a new chapter, and it shows me how much you like my story, which helps build my ego. lol! Also, keep those reviews coming! I was really pleased with the feedback I got. Oh, and just as a little side note, the chapters won't always start out like these first two did. Here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:**

**XxxAyakixxX:** Yeah, they're still pretty much in character right now, though some changes are definitely occurring. Small changes, like Luffy actually understanding someone's explanation and Zoro being jealous of Luffy's new bust, but they'll become more definite throughout the story.

**DarkLord98: **Yeah, it should be interesting. There is a surprising lack of fem!Zoro fanfictions, so I'm excited to see how this turns out!

**pipi96: **lol! Arigatou! Here's the next chapter!

**dbztgfan2004: **Totally, right? They just make such a perfect pairing. Luffy's a total idiot and Nami keeps him in check, while Robin giggles from the sidelines. XD I would totally approve of a cannon LuNa pairing. One thing I've gotta say, though... ODA MUST MAKE LUFFY TURN INTO A GIRL AT SOME POINT. I mean, he has a dude who can freakin' change people's genders! I personally love genderbending... maybe that's weird, but I think it's hilarious seeing the character's reactions to other characters as the opposite gender. XD

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece. Am I Japanese? Am I some middle aged dude? Is my name Eiichiro Oda? Because all three of those answers are "no," I do not own any rights to One Piece.**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	3. The Attack

Chapter 3: The Attack

Sanji wasn't sure what to think of this situation. First, his idiot captain and annoying first mate eat/drink from gender-changing fruits/fountains. Then, they wake up the next morning as girls, and Nami-swan and Robin-chwan immediately begin dressing them up to look even more girly than they already did. And now, a pirate crew with a weird-ass captain was attacking them.

He growled in annoyance and swept an oncoming cannonball away from the Merry with his foot.

Karma was a real bitch sometimes.

"Huhahaha!" a man standing on the figurehead of the other ship laughed. "My name is Captain Fenrir Bond, and there's no way I'm losing to punks like you! I know whose pirate flag you're flying! That straw hat wearing skull-and-crossbones means you're the Straw Hat Pirates, and your captain is worth a mere 100,000,000 belli!" He gave his stupid laugh again. "Huhahaha! Well, my bounty's a whopping 150,000,000!"

"Big deal," Sanji muttered.

Usopp, who was hiding behind the main mast and cowering as per usual, gave a shaky thumbs up. "Yosh! Sanji-kun! Keep defending the ship, as per my instructions!"

"OI! YOU'VE GOTTA HELP OUT, TOO, MORON!"

"EH!?"

The blonde chef's visible eye twitched in annoyance and he glared back in the direction of the enemy ship. It was at least twice as large as the Merry, and he saw at least sixty or seventy pirates, besides the captain, on deck, all wielding either pistols or cutlasses. The ship was painted a baby blue and had the words _Chain Reaction_ stenciled onto the side in shimmering gold. The figurehead was the head of that snake-lady monster from the myths, Medusa. Her eyes were red and seemed to bore down into the Going Merry. Three masts and three sails swayed on the _Chain Reaction_ - - the sails all proudly depicting the pirates' mark, a skull-and-crossbones whose crossbones looked like chains.

Captain Bond looked like a total dumbass, despite the supposedly huge bounty he had. He wore a captain's coat the same color as his dumbass ship, and a cutlass of his own hung at his side in a plum colored sheath that didn't go well at all. Under the coat, Fenrir wore a simple dark green vest and plum pants. If he thought he looked good, he was even more of a dumbass than he seemed.

"Well!?" the idiot demanded, waving his fist angrily. "Isn't your moron captain gonna come out and fight me!?"

Sanji gritted his teeth. "Er - - About that. We encountered a... situation that needs attending to and Luffy currently is unable to fight at full power as a result. So try again in a few days, will ya?"

"Nonsense! Power is power, and weakness is weakness! If your captain can't fight at full power because of some trivial thing, then it is because he is weak! If none of you will give me a good fight, then I'll just be taking all the treasure and women you have!"

"Women?" Usopp gasped, thinking about the ex-boys. "Not good!"

The cook's eye twitched some more as the pirates let loose another round of cannon fire. He kicked away the closest cannonballs, the remaining ones falling into the sea harmlessly, and squeezed his hands into fists. "Don't you dare threaten Nami-san and Robin-chan!" he roared, aiming one of the cannonballs right back at its owner. Just before it could smash into the ship, however, it exploded in midair.

Sanji blinked. "...Eh? Did I kick it too hard?"

"Moron!" Bond laughed, a chain trailing into the sea, attached to his hand. "I ate the Chain-Chain Devil Fruit, which means I am now a chainman! I can produce chains from body at will, up to a length of one hundred feet! I can also separate parts of my body by turning them into chains!"

"HE'S A MONSTER!" Usopp shrilled.

"Idiot. Luffy's more of a monster than him."

The _Chain Reaction_ drew closer. Suddenly, the door to the storage room burst open and Nami and Robin fell through it, along with the feminized Luffy and Zoro. Luffy was simply dressed in a red girl's vest, a pair of Nami's short jean shorts (which looked like it irritated him - - er, her? - - a lot), and girl sandals. Zoro was wearing a plain green kimono and a red sash, 'his' swords hanging at his side, although it looked like he was struggling to carry them.

Sanji quickly looked away so he wouldn't become hypnotized by the beauty of Luffy and Zoro's girl forms.

"Why are... those two here?" he grumbled. "They can't fight like this, right?"

"Can too!" Luffy protested. His voice, which was already unusually high for a boy anyway, was now even higher and softer, very beautiful. Sanji had to fight to keep a blush off his cheeks and angrily booted another cannonball, wondering who he had ticked off to deserve this.

Nami sighed. "They insisted on coming, and even though they're weaker, I couldn't hold them back, and Robin just let them go."

"Luffy... you're... cute..." Usopp gasped. "YOUR MANHOOD IS IN JEOPARDY!"

"Shut up!"

He could practically feel 'Zoro's' anger. "It's just because _she_ has bigger boobs."

"Are you... jealous, Zoro?" Sanji asked, risking a look behind him.

A tic-pulse throbbed to life on the female Marimo's head and his cheeks went a little red. "I am not jealous, dammit!"

Yep. He was jealous. Could this day get any weirder?

"What's going on here?" Nami demanded, wisely changing the subject. Then again, everything Nami-san did was wise, everything she said true. That was how the world worked, and if those two idiots couldn't understand that, then they were unfit to be Nami-san or Robin-chan's husbands... er, wives, if this genderbending thing continued. Wait a minute... lesbian relationships... Sanji only barely held back a nosebleed.

Chopper's annoyed voice filtered through the infirmary door. "Yeah, keep it down! I'm trying to make a cure here!"

"Pirates are attacking!" Usopp reported, then began to make a quick escape to the Man's Cabin. "Now that you guys are here, defeat them!"

Sanji quickly latched onto the idiot sniper's collar. "Not so fast, bastard! You'll be fighting, too!"

"Who are those hotties!?" came the very vexing voice of Captain Bond.

"SHUT UP! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CALL NAMI-SAN OR ROBIN-CHAN HOT!"

"I don't care about them, muhahaha! I'm talking about the straw hat girl and the swordswoman! They're total babes!"

The ero-cook wondered if he should burst out in laughter at the fact that he was calling Luffy and Zoro 'cute' (although their feminine forms _were_ rather hot, especially Luffy's, with the boobs) or if he should be infuriated at the fact that he just dissed his two most beloved women.

He decided on the latter. "EH!? DON'T YOU DARE CALL NAMI-SAN OR ROBIN-CHAN UGLY, YOU BASTARD!"

Luffy and Zoro looked horrified at having been called 'cute' by a man, while Nami and Usopp couldn't hold back their laughter. Robin simply gave her amused grin as always, though it looked a bit wider than it usually did and an extra sparkle of mirth twinkled in her beautiful eyes.

Captain Bond raised an eyebrow. A slight breeze picked up, making his weird-ass long brown hair, tied in a ponytail, sway. "Well, if you don't want me to call them _hot_, and you don't want me to call them _ugly_, what _do_ you want me to call them?"

"Can we just skip to the fighting?" Luffy complained. "All this dialogue is gonna annoy the audience."

"What audience?" Zoro pointed out, placing a smaller-than-normal hand on Wado Ichimonji.

"I dunno, I just feel like someone made me say that."

Robin smiled. "Perhaps someone beyond our knowledge is controlling our thoughts, actions, and words for the amusement of a large group of people."

(A/N: Damn that Robin! She always breaks the fourth wall, and I'm always forced to repair it!)

The pirates onboard the _Chain Reaction _muttered amongst themselves, saying things like, "Yeah... let's just attack them already..." and "Why am I even here? I have a wife and kids back home..." and "You _do_ realize you forgot to make lunch, right, Bob?"

Well, at least the Straw Hats weren't the only weird-ass crew on these seas.

The enemy captain tic-pulsed. "Oi! You damn morons! I want order! Order! Attack them already! Use the Chain Formation!"

Sanji sweatdropped. Was that guy obsessed with chains or something?

"Who is that moron, anyway?" Luffy wondered.

"I am not a moron!" Captain Bond snapped. "My name is Captain Fenrir Bond, the head of the Manacle Pirates! I have a 150,000,000 belli bounty and I'm going to become King of the Pirates!"

"EH!? No way! I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!"

"How? You're a girl - - a _hot_ girl. I'm gonna take down those two morons who think they amount to a pirate crew and capture you two, then sell you as slaves!"

Zoro's face twisted into rage. "Stop calling us cute! And no damn way are we gonna be slaves!"

"Yeah!" Luffy agreed, jumping onto the goat figurehead of the Merry. "I'm not a girl! And I _will _become King of the Pirates! Gum-Gum Pistol!"

"Chain-Chain Falcon Punch!" the moron roared, part of his arm turning into a chain and then lengthening. His fist smashed into Luffy's, connecting over the ocean, a wave of energy pushing back the water directly underneath the two fists. Luffy's sloppily placed attack was effectively stopped, and the ex-boy's eyes widened a little.

"Yowch!" s/he screamed, pulling his/her rubbery arm back to its normal length. "That hurt!"

Sanji narrowed his eyes. "How? You can't be hurt by anything except sharp objects and..." he blinked. "Seastone..."

"Huhahaha!" Captain Bond cackled dramatically. "So you've finally figured it out, eh? I can control what metal the chains turn into, including seastone! Making seastone chains takes a bit of strength, and it was a bit surprising that the hottie's a Devil Fruit user, but no matter! You morons are screwed!"

"Dammit," the cook cursed. "What an annoying power!"

"Let me go~!" Usopp moaned, crying anime tears. "He's too scary~!"

"WHY ARE YOU EVEN ON OUR CREW, ANYWAY!?" Zoro demanded.

"...Comic relief~?"

"If you guys are done with your comedy skit," said the other pirate captain, "then... Chain-Chain Grapple!" Multiple chains flew off of the guy's body and stretched out over the ocean, wrapping around the white-painted railing of the Merry. Sanji grunted and stepped back as pirates gave battle cries and dashed along the chains, easily crossing the ocean.

"Here they come!" Sanji warned.

"Not good!" the local long nose whimpered, trying to squirm out of his grip.

Luffy raised his/her fists. "Dammit... this stupid body isn't as powerful as I was originally... whatever. I can still defeat you, Bond!"

Zoro growled in anger as he/she tried to use his/her Three-Swords Style. "Were these swords... always so heavy...?" he complained.

Nami turned on the two with shark-teeth. "MORONS! YOU CAN'T EVEN FIGHT!"

"Can too!"

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do, sea witch!"

Robin just chuckled and crossed her arms, ready to create as many extra limbs as needed.

The Straw Hats were ready. Or at least, they thought they were.

To say that the battle between the Manacle Pirates and the Straw Hat Pirates was a little one-sided was like saying Luffy was a bit dumb. It would be a total understatement.

Due to the fact that two of their strongest fighters had been reduced to ironically cute girls and one of their Devil Fruit users was trying to find a cure for said genderbending, the heroes of this fanfiction were having a tough time. Sure, Robin broke most of the enemy's bones with her Ciez Fluers: Clutch technique. Sure, Sanji kicked the enemies to oblivion. Sure, Nami used Usopp's Clima-Tact invention to shock the hell outta the degenerates. But they were still in tough shape, because as it turned out, the Manacle Pirates didn't have just _one_ Devil Fruit user; they had _three_.

As Luffy - - or as Nami had whispered to Sanji, Lucy - - did battle with Fenrir Bond, who was mystified that the crew 'didn't have Zoro or Luffy,' the ero-cook was paired with a weird-ass okama dude who was dressed in a long red gown.

"Who the hell are you supposed to be?" Sanji demanded as chaos erupted around them.

The okama seized him up. "My name is Byakuya Joso! I am a proud okama and master of Okama Foot Boxing! I also ate the Pierce-Pierce Devil Fruit, which turned me into a piercing man and gave me the ability to pierce any substance with my hands, feet, and head!"

The cook's eye twitched. "These morons just keep getting weirder and weirder..."

"Shut up!" Joso barked, tic-pulsing. "Now just let me defeat you already so we can take your two beautiful ladies and sell them at the slave trade on Tsuki Island... shit! I just said too much! Never mind!"

He sweatdropped. "You just told me where you plan on taking Luffy and Zoro... are you an idiot? Oh, wait, you are."

"SILENCE! I KILL YOU! ...And what was that about Luffy and Zoro? I know their faces from the bounty posters but I don't see them anywhere... GAH! ENOUGH ALREADY! I'M GETTING OFF TOPIC!"

And thus the stupidest battle ever began.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, is this story getting popular! Sorry for the short chapters and also for the cliffhanger. I like to keep my readers wondering. :) Although in my other fanfiction series, <em>One Piece: Full Blast<em>, each chapter is exactly one episode long. I guess I'm just trying to get a feel for this story right now. Oh, and thanks for all the reviews, minna! I got seven reviews last chapter! XD Here are my replies to them:**

**XxxAyakixxX: **I don't know if it was just a typo or you actually think I'm a girl... but I'm a dude. xD But yeah, I thought I wouldn't update this story very often, but I've just had so much time on my hands due to the fact that I have no life, I just started writing. lol. Well, you don't have to wait anymore! Here ya go!

**Neliel Von Schweetz: **Sorry about the short chapters... I'll try to make them longer, but I'll probably fail. dB

**DarkLord98: **Yes, that's very true. But the Straw Hats are in too big of a panic right now to see that. XD I have seen a few FemSanji fanfics, but they're mostly Fem!Sanji x Zoro pairings... kinda weird since they're supposed to hate each other and all...

**rockyroad69: **Lucy and Zoe will have time to use their... feminine charm. You can bet on that. Ah, thank you. I tried to make them as in-character as possible!

**AnniBananni: **Wow! I have my own personal cat burglar, eh? XP Damn cool!

**Reignashii: **Be not afraid, young one. This story shall continue.

**Thunderqueen-nat: **Yeah, I make it a point to come up with the shittiest plots in the One Piece fandom and then turn them into something... not so shitty. Screwing with the characters is fun! :D Yeah, they'll have a tough time adjusting to being girls, especially after what happens to them, and DEFINITELY after they find out how simple the cure is. lol!

**I mentioned this slightly before, but I have another fanfiction featuring fem!Luffy (though she was born a girl) called _One Piece: Full Blast_. The series kicks off with "OP Full Blast: From the East," where my OC, Damon Daniel Digger, gets sent to the world of One Piece against his will and embarks on a shitty quest to save the shitty world from shitty demons and such! :D The book I'm currently working on is book 2, "OP Full Blast: Across the Sands." I'm currently near the end of the Drum Kingdom Arc - - genderbent!Damon, Lucy, and Chopper are just beginning their final battles with Wapol and his lackeys. If you like this story, you should check it out! You won't be shitty disappointed! ...I think I've said _shitty_ enough, don't you?**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	4. The Failures

Chapter 4: The Failures

That okama dude may've been an over-talkative moron, but Sanji had to admit, he proved to be quite a challenge. The whirlwind of kicks and foot lashes left the cook nearly speechless. Joso's speed was astounding, and his Devil Fruit powers on top of that made the cross-dresser an extremely tough opponent - - far tougher than Bon Clay back in Alabasta. Back then, he'd only been on the losing side due to the fact that Mr. 2 could transform himself into Nami, and Sanji refused to kick a lady. Now he was losing simply because he was... weaker.

"What's wrong?" Joso goaded, aiming another kick at Sanji's face. "Cat caught your tongue?"

He ducked and retaliated. "You talk too much and your face is freakin' ugly! Collier Shoot!" Sanji leaped into the air, spun, and threw the backside of his foot at his opponent's neck, but to his expanding surprise, the man in the tutu simply cartwheeled back and blocked with the outside of his leg.

"You call yourself a kick boxer? You suck! I could beat you in my sleep! I could beat you if I was unconscious! Pierce-Pierce Totally Unavoidable Spear of Awesomeness!"

"YOUR NAMING IS TOO LONG!" Sanji snapped, but his eyes widened as a cone-shaped spike protruded from the man's foot and stabbed at his forehead. He was forced to roll backward, away from the sudden attack. As it was, the makeshift spear sliced off a few locks of his blonde hair. In spite of himself, Sanji almost let out a very unmanly squeak.

_What the hell am I doing?_ he silently cursed. _How could this damned okama be _stronger_ than me__!? Damn! It must be 'Lucy' and 'Zoe's' stupid curse. The thought of them as girls is too distracting..._ _If I lose to this bastard, I won't be able to face them again!_

In desperation, Sanji came out of the roll and flipped onto his hands in a handstand. Using the momentum from the roll, he turned himself around and around in rapid circles, letting loose a furious volley of kicks that not only rained down on Joso, but took out any unfortunate enemy pirates that happened to get too close. "Party Table!" he called. But when he stopped spinning and flipped back to the side, Joso was only swaying a little, barely looking fazed at all. His hands were raised in a protective X-block and he had only slid back a few inches.

_How strong is this guy?_

"Your kicks only made me itchy," the annoying bastard claimed. "Now Pierce-Pierce - -"

"Please let it be a short name," Sanji interjected.

"- - Porcupine Full-Body Quill Armor!"

"THAT'S NOT SHORT AT ALL!"

There was a delay of a few seconds, but just as the blonde chef was about to follow up with a few more kicks (this time to be aimed where the sun doesn't shine), the cross-dresser exploded in hundreds of spear-like needles all over his body.

"What the - -" Sanji began, but dived out of the way as the spikes elongated and pierced the air where he had been standing just moments before. No, they literally _pierced the air_. The very fabric of the atmosphere rippled where the needles stabbed.

"Shit!" he heard Zoe's voice curse. "Sanji!"

Before he quite new what was happening, the feminized swordsman was standing in front of him, gripping 'her' three swords with much effort. Wado Ichimonji looked like it was about to fall out of her mouth. Her kimono blew in the slight breeze and her arms were shaking, but she was holding back the hard spikes that were now Joso's main body with her swords.

"Z-Zor - -"

"It's _Zoe_," Zoe grumbled, sliding back an inch or two as the cross-dresser's Devil Fruit powers pushed against her. "And don't ask me why I want you to call me that. I don't really know myself. But don't you _dare_ nosebleed over me or I will chop you into more pieces than Buggy can split himself into."

The only part of Joso that hadn't been covered in iron-tough quills like a porcupine, his eyes, widened in shock. "Eh!? It's one of the hotties! How the hell'd you block my ultimate air-cutting attack!?"

"NEVER CALL ME 'HOT' AGAIN!" the ex-boy exploded. "And even though I'm weaker, I can still cut through things harder than steal, because I can still hear everything's breath!"

"The hell are you talking about, Marimo?" Sanji asked, confused.

"OH, FORGET IT! JUST GET UP AND HELP ME BEAT THIS BASTARD, BASTARD!"

"No need to tell me twice."

The blonde teen hurried to his feet and teetered dizzily for a second, but regained his balance and sent Byakuya Joso a steely glare. The cross-dresser frowned and retracted his spikes.

"Damn, this ain't good," Joso muttered. "The captain'll want me to take the cutie alive. How can we sell her in the trade if she's dead? I can kill the weaker of the two but I can't kill the stronger... This is gonna be a bit of a problem. Ha!" Suddenly he sneered. "Just kidding!"

"Oi, are you saying I'm weaker than Broken Compass!?" Sanji snapped.

Zoe scowled. "_Both _of you talk too much."

"Never mind that!" their opponent said, throwing his hands back and clenching them into fists. "Okama Kick Boxing Ultimate Extreme Secret Technique of Epic Chuck-Norris-Worthy Awesomeness..."

"Looks like he's doing something..."

"NO DUH, MARIMO!"

"I said shut it, Dartboard!"

"ROUNDHOUSE DANCE!"

_WHAM! WHAM!_

The two feuding idiots were out before either of them knew what had happened.

* * *

><p>Chopper was in a dilemma. There was a <em>really creepy<em> lady in his office wearing a _really creepy_ outfit and an even _creepier_ sneer. It sent shivers down the cute reindeer's back just thinking about her. She looked like someone out of a goth vampire movie. Her robes were black and purple, she had plump dark purple lipstick, and she wore night black eyeliner.

_'Scary_...' he whimpered in his head as he peeked out from under his desk.

"I could've sworn I heard somebody in here," the lady said to herself as she glanced around his office, two short scythes tapping against her legs. "Sounded like a child... too bad. Children don't sell well in the slave trade."

The doctor squeaked in fright. Slave trade!? What was going on now!?

"Oh, little boy who thinks he's a doctor!" the scary woman said. Chopper swore up and down that she was even scarier than Nami, which was saying something. The redheaded navigator could hurt even Luffy - - er, sorry, Lucy - - when she was angry enough... and the reindeer's captain was made of _rubber_. "Come out, come out, wherever you are, Doctor-chan!"

_'Like hell!'_

Instead, he backed up farther against the wall, still in the leg space of his desk. He was shivering in fright, every single hair on him standing straight up. If he was a human, he would've been sweating bullets. But wait, he was a human, or at least part human anyway. Could he sweat? That was an interesting theory. He'd have to run a few tests...

_'NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE THINKING ABOUT THAT!'_ Chopper admonished himself.

The goth vampire lady's mood darkened so much that he could tell without even looking at her. "Okay, I've had enough this idiotic game of hide-and-seek! I want BLOOD!" The sound of destruction filled the room, and the desk above him started shaking violently, like some extremely heavy monster was pounding relentlessly on it. With his back turned to the space outside, he couldn't even see what was going on.

Chopper yelped and went into full out panic mood, dashing out from under the desk and sprinting for the door in hopes that the scary lady didn't see him.

Not so lucky.

"There you are!" she roared, and the reindeer froze just a few steps from the door. Her voice was noticeably womanly but not soft at all. There was a downright evil edge to it. "Trying to run away, are you? You're a bit furry for my tastes, but you'll have to do! I hate fully grown men and my darling Bond will want the ladies to sell for the trade! ...What are you, anyway? Some kind of tanuki?"

"I'm a _reindeer_!" he huffed exasperatedly. Why could people never get it right?

She shrugged. "Whatever. Not that it matters. Food is food."

"YAAAAAAAAAH!" Chopper screeched, his eyes popping out of his head. "CANNIBAAAAAAAAL!"

During his shout of fright, he had turned to look behind him so he could dodge if the lady attacked, but what he saw wasn't exactly a woman. It was a monster in the goth girl's clothing. Pale and squinting in the soft light of the doctor's office, two animal-like fangs hung out of its mouth, which was twisted into an incredibly ugly smirk. Its eyes were a solid night color and reminded the horribly frightened reindeer of black holes. Its body was disfigured, though it still looked lithe and it rippled with muscles.

"VAMPIRE!" he yelled.

The horrible monster lunged and Chopper leaped out of the way, its claws raking through the space he'd just occupied, creating small ripples of blackness.

"I ate a Mythical Zoan Devil Fruit, the Human-Human Fruit Model: Vampire!" the monster declared evilly. "My name is Fenrir Cain, and I am the wife of my darling Captain Bond!"

"THAT'S JUST TOO WEIRD!" Chopper gasped, eyes bugging out.

He dug into his shorts pocket and tugged out a Rumble Ball, slipping it into his mouth and chomping on it mid-dodge. Chopper felt a surge of power flow through him, and when Cain's fist tightened and swung at him, he activated Guard Point.

"Rumble!" he called.

"What the..." the goth vampire mumbled. "You changed into a literal ball of fur..."

"I'm a reindeer who ate the Human-Human Fruit!" Chopper told her. "I'm also this ship's doctor, Tony Tony Chopper! A few years ago, I invented something called the Rumble Ball, which enhances the Devil Fruit's abilities and gave me an extra four transformation points! Do the rest of the math yourself! Arm Point!"

She tilted her head to the side, narrowly evading a hoof-slam from his now heavily muscled arms. "You have seven points to transform into? No matter. Cheating doesn't beat true strength."

"IT'S NOT CHEATING!"

The fight dragged on, neither quite gaining the upper hand. It was hard to battle someone in such a small room. Chopper's faithful office was getting ripped to shreds, the only part of the ship that hadn't suffered some form of damage courtesy of one of Luffy's shenanigans. The doctor growled in anger and changed into Jump Point this time, somersaulting over his opponent's head.

"That was your seventh point," Cain noted. He had used all of his other transformation points and had now lost the element of surprise. "No more surprises, then. Alright, guess I'll show you the true terror of a vampire! BAT POINT!"

Before Chopper's eyes, the vampire woman's body transformed into a bat. Chopper blinked and began to wonder how she was supposed to fight in such a small body, but when he swiped at her, she evaded his paw easily and bit his arm.

Chopper's eyes widened and he pulled back quickly, shouting in pain and fear. "YAH! I'VE BEEN BITTEN BY A VAMPIRE BAT! I DON'T WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE!"

"Oh, don't worry!" Cain assured him, having changed back into full human form. "You won't become a vampire, though I have drained you of much of your blood. Tasted like venison. You'll be slightly anemic for the next 72 hours, so you might want to restock up on an extra supply of blood at the next town you visit... Wait, why am I telling you this? Ah, whatever."

Her words were fading away, getting an echo to them, like he was listening to her from the opposite end of a large tunnel made of rock. Chopper collapsed to the ground, already breathing heavy. His vision was darkening, but he could tell she was already out the door, returning to her crew.

_'Dammit...'_ the reindeer cursed in his head, tears building in his eyes. _'I... I lost so easily to that monstrous woman... How will I be able to face Lucy and the others!? Damn... _Damn... DAMMIT!_'_

He pounded the floor in exhausted anger as the last of his strength faded away, anemia already throwing him unconscious.

* * *

><p>Lucy knew something was weird. The sounds of fighting all around her were dying down and... did SHE JUST USE A FEMININE NAME FOR HERSELF!? Damn, this whole genderbending thing was whacked. She felt tired, she felt weak, and most of all, she felt damn HUNGRY.<p>

Okay, that was nothing new, but she definitely felt hungrier than normal.

And not to mention those annoying, purposeless boobs hanging off her chest...

_'Okay, Luffy, calm down,'_ she told herself, remembering to use her MALE name. _'Concentrate on the fight... your nakama are counting on you, and do you really want to be a slave!? AS A GIRL!?__'_

She threw a few more punches at her current despised enemy, one Captain Fenrir Bond, a man with a bounty of 150,000,000 belli. He was tough, but Lucy decided that she could handle him. Or at least, she would've been able to as a guy.

Now?

Not so much. She was weaker, her sense of balance had been thrown totally off-center, and SHE HAD BOOBS. Did she mention that she had boobs? Monkey D. Lucy was very vexed by this fact. Not to mention that her Family Jewels were missing. That felt like an injustice to her masculinity, although she wasn't exactly sure why.

And she really had to stop referring to herself as 'she...'

"Gum-Gum Pistol!" she growled, stretching her arm back, clenching her hand into a fist, and then powering it into Bond's chest, though he didn't seem very affected by the attack.

"Ha! Was that supposed to hurt?" Bond laughed. "Felt like a kid's punch! Chain-Chain Grab!"

The offending captain threw his right hand out at her, his arm turning into a chain that lengthened and rattled as it flew across the gap between them. Lucy narrowed her eyes and dodged, her breasts flopping pointlessly as she scrambled to a stop. A vein popped on her head in annoyance.

"My big bro Ace could take down an experienced pirate captain when he was ten!" she belted, lashing out in a rubbery roundhouse kick. "Gum-Gum Whip!"

"Gotta admit, your reflexes are top-notch, though you aren't very balanced... Chain-Chain Fireworks!"

A barrage of chains punched at Lucy and she grunted, weaving through them and nearly tripping one or two or three times. As she dodged, she glanced around the Going Merry. While Robin, Nami, and Usopp were taking care of the lesser members of Fenrir Bond's crew, Zoe and Sanji were working together to take down some weird okama dude, though it looked like they were on the loosing side. There was also some sounds of destruction coming from the infirmary.

Lucy returned her attention to Bond, confident in her crew's strength.

"Not too shabby," her enemy admitted. "Okay, then. Chain-Chain Special Attack... Metal Jungle!"

Chains shot out from nowhere, attaching themselves to either side of her ship and interlocking themselves, creating an inescapable network of tough metal links. Lucy steeled herself and narrowed her eyes, waiting for Bond to make his move. Cackling, the other captain raised his arms and said, "Welcome to the Jungle of Doom! No swordsman has been able to cut these tough steel links and no free-hand fighter has been able to break them apart! You can't escape!"

The chains had been woven so tightly that although there was enough room to move and stand at full height (which was rather shorter than usual, another irk on Lucy's expanding list), only a few, small, squarish windows broke through the sphere-like trap. One break allowed her to see Bond wrapping a chain around the horizontal part of the mast, the thing the sails were on... what was that called? Lucy had always sucked at remembering those things.

"Oi, Zoe!" she called, mentally reprimanding herself on calling her swordswoman by her feminized name. "A little help here?"

The green haired ex-boy didn't reply, though Robin, Nami, and Usopp were now suddenly aware of their captain's dilemma.

"EEK! LUFF - - LUCY!" Usopp shrilled.

"Oh, no!" Nami gasped. "She's trapped!"

Robin sounded a little worried. "She might actually lose and be sold to the slave trade... Zoe and Sanji have already been beaten, too."

_'What?' _Lucy repeated in her mind, too shocked for words. Her first mate and cook... defeated? Was that even possible?

She was so surprised she didn't even notice a wide circle opening at the top of the sphere, letting light shine into the trap. Lucy wasn't aware of Bond descending upon her with tremendous force gained from swinging around the yard. She couldn't have known that he had turned the bottoms of his feet into chains made from seastone.

Robin, Nami, and Usopp did, however, and they tried to warn her. "LUCY! LOOK OUT!"

Lucy blinked and was jolted out of her shock. She looked up just in time to be rewarded with a faceful of seastone chains flying at about thirty miles an hour.

The captain of the Straw Hat Pirates was unconscious before she even hit the ground.

Bond had won.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, I haven't updated this since the twentieth of last month. Sorry about that, bros and bras. Well, I have finally released another chapter! I'm finally done with the school play (<em>The Music Man<em>), though a local theater in a near-by town is holding try outs for the same one next month, and I'm thinking about trying out for a bigger role than just a traveling salesman. **

**On a totally unrelated note, thank you for over thirty favorites and 25 follows in three chapters! You guys are totally awesome! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you clearly have enjoyed the rest of the story! I hope I didn't make the crew seem too lame or my enemies seem too powerful. You have to take into consideration that the whole crew is distracted by Luffy and Zoro changing genders, as well as the fact that they are now weaker than they were before. Well, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:  
><strong>

**Shirani-Chan: **Oh, you feel like you've seen something like this before? Maybe there was something similar in another fandom or something, idk. Thank you so much! Yeah, all these baddies are original. Here you go!

**DarkLord98: **I don't keep up with the manga at all. I find it confusing. I only watch the anime. I heard that Sabo is actually alive, though, is that true? I always kind of expected that he was... I mean, it would've fucked with Luffy's mind frame in so many ways that there was no way he could've actually _died_.

**Thunderqueen-nat: **Yeah, that is ironic, isn't it? XD Thanks, and here you go!

**Monkey D. Writer: **Not sure whether that's a compliment or an insult, but I'll take that as a compliment. dB The crew is kind of idiotic, so, yeah. XD

**XxxAyakixxX: **Oh. Okay, I can live with that explanation. It's not too hard to prove you right. All you have to do is compare the yaoi fanfics to the yuri fanfics. *shudders* Fangirls can be seriously creepy. No offense. lol

**Neliel Von Schweetz:** I thought you guys would like that. Robin breaking the Fourth Wall simply 'cuz she's Robin. dB Thank you! There hasn't been many of these kinds of stories out there, which is kind of surprising, so I decided to make one myself. I figured that if I wanted something like this, then there had to be others who'd want it, too. :)

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	5. The Stolen

Chapter 5: The Stolen

Nico Robin was horrified. Her captain, one Monkey D. Lucy, and her first mate, Roronoa Zoe, had been knocked unconscious by their enemies. Zoe had been fighting against an okama with the combined power of Okama Kick Boxing and a Devil Fruit, the Pierce-Pierce Fruit. She had suffered a remarkably strong kick to the head and was now out like a light. Now the enemy that she'd been fighting along with Sanji, Byakuya Joso, was dragging her to his ship, the _Chain Reaction_, which had been "parked" alongside theirs.

Not on her watch!

"Let Swordswoman-chan go!" she yelled, glaring darkly at the man, who looked at her and snorted.

Next to her, Usopp nodded and glowered, though his knees were knocking. "Yeah! She's our nakama!"

"We won't let you bastards do anything to Lucy and Zoe!" Nami declared, pointing her Clima-Tact first at Joso, then at the enemy pirates' captain, Fenrir Bond.

"Pheh! As if! This cutie needs to go to the slave trade on Tsuki Island!" he told her, then face-faulted. "GAH! I'VE SAID TOO MUCH AGAIN!" He currently had one foot on the white railing of the Merry while Zoe's unmoving form slid stiffly behind him.

"Slave trade..." Robin muttered. "So that's what they want." Slave trades were unusually popular here on the Grand Line and had been since the olden days. She'd encountered mentions of Grand Line slavery as early as 1,500 years ago - - far before even the Blank Century. One of the trade's bases was apparently on this Tsuki Island, wherever that was.

Actually, she seemed to remember hearing about it recently... but where?

Well, never mind that. Robin had to stop Joso from boarding the ship of the Manacle Pirates! As the okama turned and hefted Zoe up to swing her over onto the _Chain Reaction_, clearly writing the others on the ship off as nothing, Robin sprouted a few choice arms on his body. Usopp aimed his small slingshot, placing one of his Sure-Kill Stars in it. Nami's Clima-Tact spewed blobs of gray storm clouds, then sparked with electricity.

"Tres Fluers... CLUTCH!"

"Lightning Bolt Tempo!"

"Sure Kill Firebird Star!"

The evil okama had had his bones snap, been struck by lightning, and had been both shot and fried at the same time. And yet he didn't look fazed in the slightest. In fact, Robin's clutch move hadn't even worked on him. When she'd tried to break his bones, she'd been met with heavy resistance.

"Was that supposed to hurt?" Joso asked, cocking his head around at them, looking somewhat amused. "Because it felt like a fly. I gotta admit, that blondie over there got some pretty good kicks in, and this girl's probably a great swordsman, but you three just suck! Hehihihi!"

"Impossible..." Robin gasped. "None of our attacks worked..."

"How are we supposed to beat their captain if we can't even beat one of his subordinates?" Nami whimpered.

Usopp gulped, pale. "That guy's scary!"

Lucy, meanwhile, was laying in a mess of broken chains and blood - - _her_ blood. The ex-boy's body was cut up, probably due to flying shrapnel when the chains she'd been surrounded in broke. Their navigator was looking at her with worry, and at Bond with fury. The evil man had been too busy gloating over Lucy's defeat to pay attention to their conversation. He cackled and smirked.

"Muhahaha!" Captain Fenrir Bond laughed sadistically. "This girl wasn't worth shit!"

Usopp had to hold Nami back. "DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY CAPTAIN THAT WAY!" Nami roared, struggling to break out of the liar's surprisingly strong grasp. "SHE'S A THOUSAND... NO, A MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE!"

"Eh?" Bond muttered, and finally stopped gloating for a few seconds to look around in confusion. He saw a good number of his weaker subordinates KO'd on the deck of the ship. His eyes widened and he glared at the three Straw Hats still standing on the deck. "DID YOU DO THIS!? YOU BITCHES! YOU BASTARD! YOU KNOCKED OUT MY NAKAMA!"

"Oi! You're the one who attacked our ship!" Usopp returned, tic-pulsing. "AND YOU'RE TRYING TO SELL OUR NAKAMA TO THE SLAVE TRADE!"

"Bastard!" Nami snapped. "Let me at him! Let me go, Usopp! I'm gonna kick him where the sun doesn't shine!"

Robin, who had been angrily staring down their enemy up until now, eyed her friend. She'd never seen the navigator and cartographer so mad before. No... Nami wasn't mad. She was infuriated. She was so angry she was literally crying.

A door opened behind them - - the infirmary door. Robin wheeled around with a small smile. Maybe Chopper had decided to join the battle! The reindeer was actually quite strong for such a small and cute little thing. He had seven transformation points, each with their own pros.

But no... it wasn't their doctor. Instead, it was a lady dressed entirely in black who Robin hadn't seen before. Had she snuck on their ship while Robin and her friends were busy fending off the lesser members of the Manacle Pirates?

"I've taken out their pet," the lady reported to Bond. "He was actually quite fun. He was a reindeer with a Devil's Fruit that allowed him to turn into a human."

The other captain snorted. "Heh. Weakling. Good job, Cain."

"Pet...?" Robin muttered.

Usopp's eyes widened. "That's Chopper! Damn you! Chopper's innocent!"

"His blood tasted like venison."

The sniper turned blue and took a step back. "Okay, that's just creepy," he said, looking sick. "What the hell are you? A vampire or something?"

The lady regarded him bemusedly. "As a matter of fact," she said, "yes."

"Sniper-san, don't faint!" Robin warned.

Nami raised an eyebrow. "A vampire? Yeah, right. They don't exist. They're just legends!"

"Don't be so sure of that," Cain told them, smirking knowingly. Something sparked in the goth woman's eyes. Something almost... purely evil. Robin suddenly got the feeling she was staring a wolf in the eyes. Cain gave off the sensation of a merciless predator constantly hunting prey.

"What are you waiting for?" Bond grumbled off to their right. "Get on board already! The trade's next auction is in four days, and we'll only just have enough time to enter in new slaves if we leave now! If we're late, we'll have to wait another whole month!"

"Coming, coming," the creepy woman sighed. "Jeez, let a girl have her fun, will ya?"

Robin and her friends spun around. While they hadn't been looking, Fenrir Bond and Byakuya Joso had boarded their ship and taken Lucy and Zoe with them. The two were now standing impatiently at the bow of the _Chain Reaction_, Bond tapping his foot in annoyance.

"Yeah, Co-Captain-chan," Joso agreed. "Get over here already!"

"I said I'm coming!"

There was a few moments' delay, then something flashed past Robin's ear, startling her. It was a bat. The bat swooped across the widening gap between the _Going Merry_ and the _Chain __Reaction_ (although Robin had only just noticed it now, the enemy's ship had set sail a minute ago, and somehow all of the KO'd subordinates had been dragged onto the ship), and landed on the other vessel's gray railing. Then, before Robin's eyes, the bat transformed into the goth woman.

"What the - -" Nami gasped. "The bat was a lady! Er... the lady was a bat! Er... USOPP, FIRE THE CANNONS! DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!"

The resident long nose was shaken out of his shock at seeing the bat turn into Cain, nodding and dashing into the cannon deck. After a minute, the ship rocked as the _BOOM! _of the cannon rang out, and a cannonball sailed toward the retreating Manacle Pirates.

Even from the growing distance, Robin heard Joso shout, "I'VE GOT THIS, CAP'N!"

The okama, barely visible now, leaped onto the _Chain Reaction's_ railing and booted the cannonball back at the _Merry_ with a well placed kick.

It exploded midway over the gap.

"They kicked it back!?" Usopp shrilled.

Nami's face was ashen. She was leaning over the railing, clutching the white bar so hard her knuckles began to match its color. "No! They're getting away! They have Lucy and Zoe!"

"We won't be able to hit them," Robin observed. The archeologist glared at the other pirates as they sailed off to the horizon, catching a gust of wind that propelled them even faster than they were already moving. "Let's not waste ammunition. We know where they're going, at least."

"We do?" Nami sniffed, a tear escaping her eyes.

Usopp stumbled out of the cannon deck, hands a little black from the cannon. "Yeah. That Joso guy said something about Tsuki Island, right?"

The black-haired 30-year-old's eyes glinted. "Yes, they did, sniper-san. And I've finally remembered where I heard that before. The mayor of Sola Village mentioned it. Remember? He said it was one of the islands in the Poe Chain, the chain of islands we're in now."

Nami's eyes shone. "Oh, right! It's the third island in the chain!"

"We've already been to one of them," Usopp said. "So that means we have two more islands to visit."

"And the Manacle Pirates are going to the second," Robin agreed. "Let's see if Doctor-kun and Cook-san are alright, then make off full speed for the next island. We have to save Lucy and Zoe before they are sold as slaves and are forced to do things they won't want."

"YOSH!" her two friends exclaimed.

"Please don't say morbid stuff like that..." Usopp added with a moan. "I don't even want to think about what could happen if they're sold to men..."

They may have lost their feminized captain and their first mate, but they still had each other, and as long as they did, they could always get what had been stolen back. They were, after all, the Straw Hat Pirates. They never left a friend behind.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, okay, okay, this was a really short chapter. I'm sorry for that. -_-" Think of it as a transitional chapter. Although not a lot happens, it's still rather important for the arc, because Lucy and Zoe are kidnapped, and Robin figures out where to go. I'm planning on making there be a lot of crazy shit on the next two islands like Oda does, and there will definitely be comedy moments. And who caught the LuNa fluff? Well, it was kinda one-sided because Lucy was unconscious, but Robin picked up on it, even if she didn't mention it outright. Did you? Okay, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:<br>**

**Thunderqueen-nat:** Actually, I was planning to do that in OP Full Blast. XD Ah, that'll be a hoot, eh?

**DarkLord98: **Does that answer your question? ;D

**I hope you enjoyed this fifth chapter in my newest original fanfiction! Thank you to all my new fans for bringing me up to 30 faves! YOSHA! Let's shoot for 50 now! I'd like any new readers to follow and/or favorite this fic, though by no means is it necessary. Also, please review! I really like hearing about what my fans have to say on my stories! As a little disclaimer, I do not own One Piece nor any characters associated with the anime. The only things I own are the plot of _Gender Confusion Confusion_, the Manacle Pirates, and any other places/people you've never heard of before reading this fanfic.**

**Another disclaimer: the government is pushing to get SOPA passed again! If this happens, all fanfictions, online fanart, and other stuff like that WILL BE REMOVED FROM THE INTERNET. To stop this, we need to band together and get a total of 100,000 signatures on the Stop SOPA 2014 petition! Just Google it and it'll come up. Don't let your fanfics disappear! Sign the petition now!**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	6. The Chain Reaction

Chapter 6: The _Chain Reaction_

The blue-colored brigantine cut across the sea, ocean spray foaming in its wake. The day was calm, clear, and warm, and the sun shone brightly overhead. Cheerful, driving music played as the occupants of the ship clapped their hands and stomped their feet in tune. A voice drifted out across the waters, singing about pillaging, women, treasure, women, fighting, and women - - six of a "true pirate's" favorite things.

"Yohohoho~!" the singer belted, notes rising and falling. "Yohohoho~! A pirate's life for me! Yohohoho~! Yohohoho~! It's pleasing as can be! We go down to the village and wreak havoc everywhere! We make laughing children cry and don't even give a care!"

"Encore! Encore!" the degenerates cheered.

But deep in the bowels of the ship, two pirates were not having very much fun. In fact, they weren't having much fun at all.

Monkey D. Lucy and Roronoa Zoe had just woken up from their pain-induced slumber, groggy and a little dizzy. As their eyes slowly accustomed themselves to the barely lit room, they rubbed their sore heads and examined their surroundings. They were laying on a hard, wooden surface that seemed to be moving up and down, suggesting that they were still on a ship. Only minimum light filtered through thin blinds placed over a porthole window to the left. The area was dusty and smelled of mildew. A line of dark metal bars blocked the way to a stairwell directly in front of them. The sound of waves lapping could be heard outside.

"Where are we?" Lucy groaned, flinching when she heard her feminized voice.

Zoe, previously Zoro, blinked wearily. "Dunno. Looks like some sorta brig to me. What happened?"

"Last thing I remember is fighting that Bon-Bon guy. Or was it Band? Bam? ...Spam?"

She sent her far bustier captain a look of annoyance. "Just stop. Well, the last thing _I _remember is fighting that moron okama, Joso."

"We didn't lose, did we?"

"Tch. No way. Ain't nobody who's stronger than me. Except you and Mihawk, but that'll change soon."

Lucy's stomach growled and she pouted childishly. "Great," she grumbled, "I don't know where I am and I'm starving."

"You're always starving," the green-haired ex-boy sitting next to her pointed out.

"SANJI! MAKE ME SOME MEAT!"

No answer.

The rubbergirl's face fell. "Eh? No Sanji?"

Sighing at 'her' captain's naivety, Zoe stood up and examined the area some more. She ran a hand along the bars, feeling the cold smoothness. The newly turned girl's hand strayed to the swords strapped to her side - - wait, what swords? There wasn't anything there!

"Someone took my swords!" she gasped in angered shock.

Lucy picked her nose. "Eh? Really? Hm, maybe I can get us out of here then..." She stood up, too, and walked to the bars. She grasped them, but suddenly sunk to the floor in exhaustion, moaning, "Tired~"

"Seastone?" Zoe guessed, frowning at the bars and remembering the cage they'd been trapped in back at Crocodile's casino in Alabasta. She sighed in annoyance. Great, what a mess. Sanji would probably laugh his ass off if he knew they'd been captured. Damn ero-cook.

Well, first things first. They needed to get out of here.

Zoe examined the walls, which curved in a little. The ship hadn't been designed too well, she could tell, because the wood was starting to rot. Raising an eyebrow, she strutted to the wall and ran a finger across it while Lucy watched with confusion.

"Oi, Zoe, is that stuff on that wall food?" she asked, her stomach growling again. Now that they weren't being forced into all kinds of clothes by Nami and Robin, the straw-hatted 'man' seemed totally fine with the genderbending, as if it happened everyday. Zoe briefly wondered how she did it.

"No!" the feminized man snapped. Damn, was it hard to maintain a calm exterior when her swords were gone. Without them, she didn't feel complete. "It's rot! Oi, think you can punch through this wall here, even though we're both weaker like this?"

Lucy picked her nose nonchalantly. "Yeah, no biggie. I was fighting pretty on par with that Bon-Bon guy. He just cheated. I've got this.

"Gum-Gum... PISTOL!"

-SMASH!-

Lucy had ran to the wall itself so she had as much room as possible, and then stretched her right arm back, flinging it forward in a powerful punch. It easily broke through the weakened side of the ship, raining splinters on them. They brushed the wood and dust off themselves and Lucy leaned her head out the hastily made hole, looking upward.

"OK, I've got it!" she declared, throwing her arms up to what must've been the railing of the ship. "Hold on tight!"

"Wait, what!?" Zoe began, but she barely had time to latch onto the rubber 'girl's' waist before take off occurred. They were catapulted out of the dismal room and into the air, the ocean stretching beneath them like an endless blue carpet. Zoe screamed, terrified. Even in the months she'd been on Lucy's crew, Gum-Gum Rocket never got any better. The wind whipped at your face and made it feel like it would tear off; you hurtled uncontrollably toward your destination, often slamming into it and nearly getting a concussion.

"I'm gonna kill you if you kill us!" she screamed.

"What was that?" Lucy shouted back over the roar of the wind.

Finally, they reached the height of the good captain's rubbery limits and began their descent to the deck of the _Chain Reaction_. From up here, Zoe had a good view of the ship, which was getting bigger with every nanosecond that passed. Quite a lot of men were on deck, and all of them were staring at the pair with almost comically shocked expressions. Their eyes were bigger than dinner plates, and their jaws were nearly touching the floor_. _Several of them held various instruments. The Marimo guessed that they were part of a band or something. Lucy would be jealous.

They were headed to the lower deck, the part of the deck in the middle of the ship. The fo'c'sle was at the back of this, and the main mast (painted baby blue like the rest of the stupid vessel) was in the middle. Random crates and barrels were stacked on each other.

Then, impact!

"Oh, my aching head," Zoe groaned as she rolled off her captain.

Lucy grinned and stood up, cracking her knuckles as she looked at the Manacle Pirates' crew. "Alright! I gotta beat these guys' asses and then we gotta get FOOD! ...Oh, and find a way back to the others."

"Straighten out your priorities."

"W-Where did you two come from!?" one of the degenerates demanded, shaking off his surprise. Like a lot of his pals, he looked like your average pirate: Dirty, ripped-up clothes, untrustworthy expression, messy hair, and even a classic eye patch. His cohorts were dressed similarly. It smelled like they hadn't heard of a shower before. "You're supposed to be in the brig!"

"You mean that room with the bars?" Lucy said, tilting her head. "Yeah, we kinda destroyed its wall."

"WHAT!? But that could sink the entire ship! A-And you're girls!"

"WE ARE NOT GIRLS!" Zoe exploded, an angry green aura erupting around her. The guy backed off quickly.

Another enemy decided to be brave, however. Or maybe just stupid. "We can't let Captain Bond know they escaped!" he told his friends, stepping forward with a hard look. "We must recapture them! Attack!"

There was a moment's hesitation, then all the men attacked at once.

"Ready, Zoe?" Lucy said to her, grinning impossibly wide.

"Don't call me that! But, yeah, ready as I'll ever be without my swords..."

"Okay, then! Gum-Gum... Gatling!"

"No-Swords Style... Tatsu Maki!"

Lucy's attack seemed faster than it usually was, her arms appearing to multiply by sixty or seventy rather than by forty or fifty. She pummeled the degenerates, dropping them like flies. Zoe's improvised Tatsu Maki was also definitely more powerful. She even thought that she saw a blue flash or two in the tornado her quick spinning produced. The swordsman was now rather glad that the Davy Back Fight with Foxy's crew had dragged on as long as it did. Any pirates who neared her were blown sky high into the... well, sky.

The remaining guys looked at the so-called girls in front of them fearfully. Lucy and Zoe smirked and cracked their knuckles.

"What the hell!?" the men chorused loudly, backing up to the rather thick main mast. "Our crew was decimated!"

One of them suddenly growled, enraged, and spat, "Bitches! You beat up our friends! We won't let you get away with this!" He sent the other two a look. "Ready, Bobbie, Ken? It's payback time!" He was the same man who'd spoken up the first time.

Lucy dug for gold while Zoe just raised an eyebrow. Did these morons really think they were a match for any member of the Straw Hat Pirates, much less two of the Monster Trio? ...Even if said two were nowhere near as powerful as they should be?

The brother on his left, Bobby, was a man with yellow hair and a face shaped in a way that he resembled a pineapple. He steeled himself and nodded. "Yeah, Jeremy! Let's do this, right Ken? Combination Play!"

"Combination Play!" the last remaining brother, Ken, agreed nervously. He was the shortest of the three and was dressed a little like Sanji... if Dartboard had rolled around in mud and gone to live in a cave, that is.

"What the hell?" Zoe grunted, eyes widening.

As they watched, the three brothers started glowing and literally slid together. Bobby had a red glow, Jeremy was now blue, and Ken was red, too.

"This is the power of our brotherhood!" the enemies proclaimed stiffly, bowing. "Although we may not look alike, we are of one mind and one body! Our bond is so strong that we become human magnets, attracting each other and pushing each other away! We are triplets!"

"SO COOL~!" Lucy cheered, eyes lighting up.

Zoe was not amused. "That makes no sense!" she barked with a shark face and a tic-pulse. "You had to have eaten a Devil's Fruit or something!"

"Devil's Fruit?" Jeremy repeated.

Bobby chuckled, now very sure of himself. "Nonsense! The only people on the Manacle Pirates with Devil Fruit powers are the captain, his wife, and our first mate!"

"We've been magnets since birth!" Ken finished proudly. He and Bobby's glows turned from red to blue whereas Jeremy's went from blue to red. To Zoe's shock, the two on the outside slid across the deck to either end of the _Chain Reaction_, where the glows faded.

"AWESOME~!" a certain moron gasped, even more enthralled. "Triplets are awesome!"

Zoe hit her over the head. "IT STILL DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"

"You don't have time to be fighting amongst yourselves, slaves," commented Bobby, making Zoe glare at him.

Jeremy nodded. "That's right! You'll need to concentrate all your energy on the three of us! Ready, boys? Link of Doom!"

"Link of Doom!" echoed Ken and Bobby.

Zoe tensed her muscles. All three brothers charged, Ken and Bobby once again getting a red glow while Jeremy regained his blue glow. Their newest enemies connected and spun so that they were now running sideways toward the 2/3 present Monster Trio.

Lucy stretched her arm back. "Oi, Zoe, you can't fight well without your swords. Leave these guys to me, okay?"

"Whatever," Zoe sighed, though she knew the ex-boy was right. She idly strolled to the white railing and sat on it, observing the battle.

"Gum-Gum Pistol!"

The brothers ducked quickly, the faster-than-normal punch flying above them and smashing through most of the mast, lodging there. Bobby, Jeremy, and Ken stepped to the side and straightened themselves. "Arrogant bitches!" Ken yelled, tic-pulsing. "Don't think you can beat us just with one person!"

"Followed by Scythe!" Lucy called, shooting forward at breakneck speeds. This time, she was successful in the attack and surprised the trio, crashing into all three with the force of a cannonball. The three boys were shoved into her far-bigger-than-usual chest. They connected with the mast, which splintered and groaned a little. It leaned a little to the side and wobbled dangerously, as if it couldn't make up its mind whether to fall or stay crooked like that, but nothing else happened.

Lucy tore herself free from the self-made hole in the mast and looked at Jeremy, Bob, and Ken. Their faces were red and blood was trickling out of their noses.

"What's wrong with these guys?" she wondered as she stood up, brushing dust off her clothes and straw hat.

Zoe slid off the railing, feet planted firmly on the deck, and sidled up beside her captain. "Beats me. Maybe they're just morons."

"Eh, they had a really cool power, too... Guess they were just weak."

"Yeah."

There was an awkward pause.

Lucy looked around the deck, seeing all the pirates up there knocked out, twitching comically on the floor. "Well, what do we do now?" she wondered. "Everybody's sleeping. How are we supposed to find out where the kitchen is?"

The female Marimo tic-pulsed. "IS FOOD ALL YOU THINK ABOUT!? WE HAVE MORE PRESSING MATTERS ON OUR HANDS! LIKE HOW TO GET BACK TO THE CREW, FOR INSTANCE!"

The long, black-haired 'girl' blinked innocently, stomach rumbling. "But I can't do anything on an empty stomach!" she protested.

"YOU JUST TOOK OUT ALL OF THE MANACLE PIRATES ALMOST COMPLETELY BY YOURSELF!"

"Not all of us," a snide voice jeered. A very familiar snide voice... the ex-boys turned around to see Captain Fenrir Bond, a strange goth woman they'd never seen before, and Byakuya Joso grinning evilly.

"You beat up our crew," Joso growled with an evil grin, eye twitching.

The goth woman cracked her knuckles. "No bitches mess with _my_ lovelies."

"Bad little girls," Bond cackled, raising his hands dramatically. "You need to be _taught a lesson!_"

Lucy and Zoe tensed, sliding into fighting stances. Damn, did Zoe miss her swords. Not that she could do much with them anyway, being as she was now... Where was that moron crew of theirs? Shitty idiots probably got lost without them. Huh. She would've expected better of Robin, calm and collected as she was no matter what the situation.

The Manacle Pirates' Monster Trio charged, laughing maniacally.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for those of you who don't watch the English Subs. I just decided to use the Romanji version of Zoro's attacks because it sounds way cooler. :D Ugh, I feel like utter crap today. I've been throwing up all morning, ever since like two A.M., and I've only gotten a few short hours of sleep. Well, anyway, complaining aside, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:<strong>

**DarkLord98: **I was planning on having this chapter be from their point of view anyway. Well, hope you enjoyed it!

**XxxAyakixxX: **Arigatou! There was a hint of ZoRo in this chapter, if you could catch it!

**Thank you for all of the popularity you've given this story! I really appreciate it! So far it's doing way better than my _One Piece: Full Blast_ series. I'd love any newcomers to add this fanfiction to their follows and/or favorites list, as it really boosts my self-confidence. Please note that although popularity is appreciated, it definitely ain't needed. Also, please please please leave a review! The amount of reviews has gone really downhill lately. I wanna know what my fans think of this story! :D**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	7. How it All Began, Part One

Chapter 7: How it All Began, Part One  
><span>

After a quick dinner provided by Sanji, for it was already rather late in the evening and the sun was throwing beautiful reds, pinks, and oranges out across the bottom of the sky, the Straw Hats decided to get some much needed rest. Chopper and Sanji were alright, if you didn't count the fact that Chopper was anemic after his apparent encounter with Fenrir Cain, the woman vampire. The mood on the ship was dark and quiet. The Going Merry felt strangely empty without their boisterous captain and ever-sleepy first mate. Even Sanji wasn't his usual self, failing to be as lady-happy was the norm for him. Nami reached a new conclusion: Perhaps Sanji only doted on women so much nowadays to annoy the hell outta Marimo. Those two were like close brothers.

That night, Nami had a strange dream about chains squeezing the life out of a chunk of meat that she really wanted, while near by a chunk of moss was chained to a rock, unable to move. Then the dream switched to the Battle for Arlong Park, only this time Luffy was killed by the evil fishman. She woke in a cold sweat, sure her beloved captain was dead.

There was a big ache in her chest. She looked at Robin, who was sleeping soundly, though the archaeologist wore a pained expression. For a second, Nami was confused. Why would Robin be having a nightmare? But then she remembered that Luffy wasn't dead at all, though that could change any moment. In fact, he had been genderbent and kidnapped by the Manacle Pirates, to be sold into slavery on the nearby Tsuki Island.

They would rescue their captain and first mate, or they would die trying.

How many times had Luffy and Zoro, now Lucy and Zoe, done the same for them?

Well, at least the Manacle Pirates had overlooked the gold they'd earned from their hard-won battle on Skypiea.

Maybe it was a bit sappy of her, but Nami found herself thinking of the day everything changed. Not yesterday, when two of the Straw Hats were kidnapped, but the day before, when they docked on Taiyo Island. As she recalled, Luffy (still male at the time) had been thrilled.

* * *

><p><strong>XxxFLASHBACKxxX<strong>

* * *

><p>The sun shone warmly overhead, radiating down on the good salt water. A pirate ship with a goat figurehead proudly and cheerfully flew a Jolly Roger wearing a Straw Hat. The Going Merry and her crew had just escaped from the G-8 Base and was well on her way to the last leg of her journey.<p>

"You're awesome, Merry!" Luffy cheered, still not really getting over the fact that his ship had flown through the sky in order to escape Marines... even if it had been helped a little by a squid and some bad gas (don't ask). He turned to Nami, mood unable to be deterred. "Oi, Nami, when are we gonna land at the next island?"

The redhead sighed and rubbed her head. She should really start seeing Chopper about that headache. Being with this crazy crew day and night was starting to grate on her health.

"I'd say a little over two hours," Nami calculated, checking both her precious map and her even more precious Log Pose. Her gaze lingered on her wrist for a second. The large gold ring around it had been a gift from her adoptive sister, Nojiko, whom she hadn't seen in what must've been going on three months now. Smiling softly at the memory of her purple-haired sibling, Nami shook herself out of the past and glanced up at Luffy, who was now bouncing uncontrollably on the figurehead - - his "special captain's seat," though nobody quite knew why it was so special. Not even Robin, which was really saying something. The rest of them were doing about their daily chores - - Usopp was working on some new Sure-Kill Star and trying not to burn his eyes out due to the spiciness, Sanji was posing as look out, Zoro (having filled his training quota for the day) was sleeping, Chopper was fishing, and she and Robin had reclined on twin lawn chairs on the front deck. They'd chosen the front over the back simply because the sun was nicer there today.

"Really!?" he squealed like a girl, throwing his hands up in the air, his grin growing even wider (something Nami had thought impossible). "You're awesome, Nami!"

She blushed and quickly covered her cheeks with the map, peeking over it to see if he'd noticed.

The idiot rubberboy hadn't.

Nami wasn't quite sure about her feelings toward him. He was more hyperactive than a hyena on steroids, acted on impulse, loved adventure, and had a total inability to think when it came to the importance of money, which they were currently swimming in, ironically enough. On the other hand, she felt the nearly insatiable urge to squeal and wrap the innocent teen up in a rubbery hug whenever he grinned and giggled at her - - which he did a remarkable number of times for a seventeen-year-old. The navigator often found herself pounding Luffy hard enough to send a charging water buffalo flying, just to shove her growing feelings for him on the back burner.

Luffy was her _captain_. He was also pretty much asexual, never showing any interest at all towards either females or males.

The chances of him finding a love interest in her? Slim to none.

_'Still...'_ she found herself wishing, _'I'd like it if he'd deepen our relationship a little...__'_

Her cheeks tinged darker pink, bordering on red. The Straw Hats' newest recruit, Nico Robin, raised an eye brow at Nami.

"You're blushing, Navigator-san," the sly woman noted, smiling softly as she turned a page. "I hope the heat isn't too much for you."

"S-Shut up," she mumbled, blushing harder. Robin knew perfectly well what was going on. She'd confessed her recent Luffy obsession to the archaeologist the other night and had been a bit surprised when Robin had admitted that she, too, had been growing affectionate toward one of their crew members... albeit, the apple of _her_ eye was Roronoa Zoro.

"Should I ask Captain-san to fetch a cold rag and hold it against your forehead?"

"I-I-I said, shut up!"

"You're flustered, Navigator-san."

Frowning at the older woman, Nami sunk deeper into her lawn chair and studied her map intently. She had just gotten over her embarrassment when a narrow burst of flames shot up into the sky from the lower deck, along with a strangled cry of pain. Jumping in shock and a little fear, she glanced down.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "What happened?"

"Did somebody steal my meat!?" Luffy yelled, comically angered.

Robin looked over her shoulder, blinking. "Perhaps someone hurt themselves."

Chopper was so surprised he slipped backwards off the railing and landed painfully on his back.

"Hot, hot, hot, hot! My face is peeling off!"

Usopp was rolling around on the deck, clutching his face and blubbering in pain. A puddle of what seemed to be the newest version of his Tabasco Star lay next to him. Nami put two and two together.

"Oh, it's just Usopp," the redhead said, rolling her eyes and sitting back down on her lawn chair.

Luffy blinked and stopped cracking his knuckles. "So nobody stole my meat?"

"Doctor! We need a doctor!" their reindeer doctor shrieked, running circles around the main mast in panic. "Usopp's in trouble!"

"But you're the doctor," Sanji called, amused.

"Yowch! It burns! It burns, I tell you!"

"Huh. I was sure somebody stole my meat..."

A little while later, Chopper had tended to Usopp's rather pink face, everybody had returned to their jobs, Zoro was still sleeping, and Luffy had just started complaining about how hungry he was. Thankfully, Sanji saw something that distracted the one-mind captain.

"Nami-swan~! Robin-chwan~! And the rest of you bastards!" he barked, grinning. "Land ho!"

"You see the island!?" Luffy gasped, spinning around on his seat. "HOORAY!" He jumped off the figurehead and ran down to Usopp, who had given up on his weapon-making in favor of helping Chopper fish. Then Luffy started dancing with both the sniper and the doctor.

They sang, "Adventure~! Adventure~! We're gonna have an adventure~!"

Robin looked up from her book. "Nami," she said, "what is the name of the island we're headed for?"

"Well, by aligning the course the Log Pose is taking on with the G-8 Base and some maps," Nami mused, "I'd say we're stopping here." She leaned over and showed the map to Robin, tapping on a circular island with lines of reefs sticking out from it to make it look like a child's badly drawn Sun. "It's called Taiyo Island. This map that I stole from those Marines doesn't say much about it, though."

The archaeologist frowned, looking at her book. "Taiyo Island? I thought so. This nautical novel mentions an island in the Grand Line by the name of Taiyo Island. Apparently, it has a curse on it, though it doesn't go into much detail..."

The Idiot Trio froze.

Luffy's eyes lit up. "A curse!? AWESOME!"

"Scary!" Chopper squeaked, hiding behind the main mast the wrong way.

Usopp's eyes bugged out and he clutched his throat, sinking to the floor dramatically. "Oh, no!" he moaned. "I've suddenly come down with If-I-Go-To-That-Island-I'll-Die Disease! It must've been brought on by those burns from earlier!"

The little reindeer fell for it hook, line, and sinker. "Guys! We can't go there, Usopp'll die!"

"There's no such disease," Nami informed Chopper bluntly.

His eyes widened and he stepped out from behind the mast. "Oh, you mean it was lie?"

Robin giggled and Sanji immediately swooned at the sound.

"Mellorine~!" the perverted cook gasped, eyes heart-shaped.

"This island is gonna be awesome!" Luffy declared, stretching back to his special seat and peering at the ocean.

* * *

><p>"WHOA! LOOK AT THOSE SQUIRRELS! THEY'RE <em>FLYING!<em> That's so cool!"

"And those fish are flying out of the water. I wonder how good they'd taste fried with rice and rolled in seaweed..."

"Yosh! Look here, young Chopper, and observe as I, the great and legendary Captain Usopp, fires down an army of those flaming deer!"

"Eh!? Really!? AMAZING, USOPP! You're a hero!"

"Snork - - Huh? Wait, where are we? ...Am I still dreaming?"

Nami sweatdropped as she regarded her crewmates. "I'm surrounded by idiots," she deadpanned.

Robin, dressed in her normal purple jacket, white undershirt, purple hat, and purple pants, stepped forward next to her with a soft giggle. "Let them have their fun," she told Nami. "We just got back from a tough battle on a land in the sky. An island like this is a perfect place to relax, wouldn't you agree?"

The navigator sputtered and pointed at the coastline. "B-B-Bu-But those deer are on _fire!_ They're wrapped in more flames than Luffy's older brother! That can't be natural!"

Taiyo Island really was something else. Nami had seen a lot in her life time, but this was just freaky. They had docked at the island just a minute ago, and now they could see the landscape and wildlife. Before them was a grassland that rose up into a rocky mountain shaped oddly like a witch's hat. The grassland was home to the strangest of creatures, including deer that were literally on fire (Usopp was now pointing his slingshot at them), giant brown ants marching in perfect rows, and squirrels that were literally soaring from treetop to treetop. In the water around the Going Merry, brilliantly colored fish leaped up into the air and _swam_, in _midair_, for a short while before diving back below the ocean surface. The Grand Line was truly a place where anything and everything could happen.

Luffy, either unaware of or ignoring his navigator's amazement and slight fear, stretched out to a nearby tree and latched on, catapulting himself onshore. "Gum-Gum ROCKET!"

"Oi, Luffy, _wait_!"

"I still don't know where the hell we are," Zoro grumbled, put out by the fact that everyone was ignoring him.

"We're on Taiyo Island," Robin explained helpfully. "As for the flaming deer, the author of the book I'm reading, Homer, called them Fire-Tailed Deer. Apparently the flames are a byproduct of the friction created by the speed of the blood coursing through their veins, which is fifty times faster than normal blood flow."

"How is it not dead?" Nami wondered in deflated awe.

"Hey, it survived my Sure-Kill Exploding Star!" Usopp complained. Quickly getting bored of the notion of sniping the Fire-Tailed Deer, he sighed and looked at Luffy, who was now busy riding the giant brown ants, which their archaeologist quickly identified as Magniants. The resident liar's eyes popped out of his head in shock at their captain's antics. ...No pun intended.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Luffy!? You'll get yourself eaten!" the navigator roared, shark-like.

"Eh?" the straw-hatted pirate whined, patting his ride's head. "But this little guy doesn't mind, do you, Billy?"

"The Magniants are perfectly harmless herbivores," Robin agreed.

Sanji swooned. "Robin-chwan is so smart~!"

Nami sweatdropped again. "Okay, but why did he name it Billy...?"

"He's gonna join our crew as our pet!"

"NO WAY IN ODA'S NAME ARE WE MAKING THAT _THING_ OUR _PET_!"

"Eh!?" Luffy moaned while Usopp and Chopper, taking Nami's distraction as their chance, jumped ship and ran to join him by riding their own Magniants.

"I'm thirsty," Zoro yawned, slumped against the railing. "Do we have any good booze?"

"You drank it all during our party last night, Marimo," Sanji growled, swirly eye twitching. "Stupid bastard, that was the wonderful Skypiean wine Conis-chan's people gave us! And you drank it in _one freaking night_!"

"What was that, Dartboard?" the swordsman hissed, springing to action with a hand on Wado Ichimonji.

Robin smiled softly. "There is a village called Sola Village on the other side of that mountain. It is said to hold the best wine in this part of the Grand Line, and apparently Marines come here every few weeks to stock up on it. By my calculations, the next Marine visit isn't until tomorrow evening, so we have enough time to stop today if we want. I would like to visit the village myself. The author of this book, Homer, lives there."

"We can't spend any money," Nami sighed, "so no one get anything they have to buy, alright? We still haven't broken in our gold from Skypiea."

"Yeah, yeah," the local Marimo muttered, swinging himself off the Merry, a little ruffed up from his most recent battle with the ero-cook.

"We're going to a village!?" Luffy cheered, suddenly rushing up to the ship with Usopp and Chopper as the remaining Straw Hats went ashore. "Awesome! I wanna try out their meat! Maybe they'll have some of those flaming deer on the menu! Those things look good~!"

Nami's fist clenched. "I said _no buying._"

"Eh!?" Her captain turned on his infamous puppy-dog eyes, suddenly looking endearingly like a lost little retriever who desperately needed a home. Nami's will crumbled.

"Okay, maybe a little."

The Idiot Trio's eyes lit up in sparkles. "Yay, we can try out their food!"

"I don't want to eat the deer though," Chopper said, shivering. "That would be cannibalism!"

"I said _only a little!_" Nami snapped.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p><strong>Here is the seventh chapter! I finally got around to the part where we explain just what occurred before the story's start, and it is a pretty long flashback. I must say, even as the author, that Taiyo Island sounds pretty cool. The next chapter will be in Sola Village, and then after the flashback ends, the crew will arrive at a new island! Yay! :D Here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:<br>**

**XxxAyakixxX:** Laziness FTW. XD Oh, thank you. Personally, I find the descriptions to be the easier parts, as I can see what it looks like in my mind. It's the action and fluff that I have trouble with. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

**I hope you all liked this newest update. It's been a little hard for me to write lately because of the EXTREME lack of reviews - - seriously, only _one_ review on the previous chapter? You guys can do way better than that! Come on! But anyway, to all you newcomers out there, I'd appreciate it if you would follow and/or favorite this fanfiction! Popularity is greatly appreciated but not necessary for me to continue writing. Please, please, please review! I really want to here feedback from you guys! How am I doing so far? It's my fan's comments that goad me on to continue the story, so _please review!_ Thanks to those of you who do!**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	8. How it All Began, Part Two

Chapter 8: How it All Began, Part 2

**Previously on Gender Confusion Confusion:**

_While sailing towards their next destination, Water 7, __the Straw Hats landed on a seemingly normal island. However, when they left, two of their number, Luffy and Zoro, had been turned into girl versions of themselves, Lucy and Zoe! While Nami and Robin attempted to make them at least presentable, the Manacle Pirates attacked, led by the evil Captain Fenrir Bond, a man with the ability to produce chains of any metal from his body. _

_In a desperate attempt to fend off Bond; his wife, Fenrir Cain, who had the abilities of the Human-Human Fruit, Model: Vampire; his first mate Byakuya Joso, who was an okama with great kickboxing skills and the powers of the Pierce-Pierce Fruit; as well as the Manacle Pirates' small fry, the Straw Hats lost their various battles. In doing so, they found out that the Manacle Pirates are involved with the slave trade and are planning to take the kidnapped Lucy (Fem!Luffy) and Zoe (Fem!Zoro) to an auction house on nearby Tsuki Island._

_Now, however, we have turned back the clock by a day to discover just how this misadventure came to be. It all began on the peaceful Taiyo Island. The Straw Hats have stopped here in order to get more supplies and speak with the blind author Homer, who wrote a book Robin owns and lives in the village..._

"Yay!" Luffy cheered, doing a victory dance with Chopper on the grassy field that made up the coastline they'd dropped anchor on. "We're goin' on an adventure~! We're goin' on an adventure~!"

Robin smiled, pleased that she would get to meet one of her favorite authors. "Yes, this is quite exciting. However, we need to decide who will guard the Merry before we go to Sola Village."

Nami face-faulted. "I almost forgot about that!" she exclaimed, looking disappointed in herself, but shooting the archaeologist a grateful look. "Okay, guys, because most of us want to go except Usopp - -" the ginger narrowed her eyes at the resident Long Nose, who was cowering as far down the beach as he could without being in the sea - - "we'll draw straws to decide who gets to go and who guards the ship."

"I'm the captain!" Luffy declared stubbornly. "I'm going anyway!"

Usopp gulped, eying the small, witch-hat-shaped mountain that Sola Village sat on. "Um, I've come down with a rare case of 'I-can't-go-to-the-mountain-shaped-like-a-witch's-hat' Disease! Unless I stay on this exact spot, I'll break out in hives!"

A Magniant, one of the strangely evolved animals that lived on Taiyo Island, scuttled past in pursuit of a Fire-Tailed Deer.

The navigator sighed and decided it wasn't worth the loss of brain cells to argue with her captain. Instead, she groped inside her pants pocket and withdrew five straws. It was useful to keep the straws in her pocket, as they often split into groups and needed a way to do so quickly. Each crew member, save for Luffy and Usopp, selected a straw. Everyone got long ones except Chopper, who was crestfallen.

"B-B-But I wanted to see the author!" he whined, turning on the puppy - - er, reindeer - - eyes.

Nami was unmoved. "Sorry, Chopper! Guess you got bad luck this time."

Zoro grinned. "Ha! Now I can get a taste of the best wine on the Grand Line!"

"I can do my shopping without worrying about you morons messing it up," said Sanji, frowning at Luffy and Zoro. "And see some beautiful ladies while I'm at it..."

"Looks like I'll be meeting Homer after all," Robin observed, smiling softly.

"I'll bring you back some flaming deer meat, Chopper!" Luffy called cheerfully as they made their way for Sola Village.

"You can protect me, right?" Usopp implored, shivering.

The doctor sniffed. "Y-Yeah."

The two boarded the Merry with completely opposite emotions.

* * *

><p>"Oh, the islands in the south are warm~! And their heads get really hot~! They grow-a pineapples, they grow-a coconuts - - and they're idiots~! Next verse! The islands in the north are snowy~! And their heads get really cold~! They're very chilly-chilly, they're very willy-nilly - - and they're morons~! Third verse! Oh, the islands in the east - -"<p>

"If you don't stop singing, I'm gonna kick your rubbery ass to the Moon," Sanji warned.

Luffy pouted. "You're no fun."

"Zoro, the path goes straight, not to the right!" Nami snapped. "You're such a - - WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? THERE'S A CLIFF IN THAT DIRECTION!"

The eternally lost Marimo froze and scowled before finally walking in the right direction. "Geez, this path is so damn hard to follow," he grumbled, his three swords tapping against each other as he walked.

Robin paused to glance over the cliff Zoro had nearly walked off. "A fall like that would break a person's legs."

The five Straw Hats were making their way up a path that wound up the small mountain in a helix, and had been doing so for a good two hours now. The whole way, Luffy had sung terribly, Sanji bickered with Zoro and went out of his way to make sure the ladies wouldn't have to do anything other than walking, Robin examined the flora and fauna, Zoro kept wandering off the path, and Nami felt like her brain was being attacked by a madman with a sledgehammer. It didn't help that their straw-hatted leader would occasionally catch her eye and grin impossibly wide, a grin that sent shivers down her spine, a blush to her cheeks and a pleasant, bubbly feeling to her stomach.

Nami cursed silently.

She was really falling for that rubber moron hard.

The mountain was surprisingly grassy and full of life - - blocking off the path on the left was a dense forest with green bushes and ferns, and small mammals like squirrels that would scamper out, notice them, and take off for the cover of the forest once more. On the other side of them was a sheer fifty-foot drop, because the path had risen steeply and was directly on the edge of the mountain.

They rounded the next curve and Luffy laughed exuberantly. "The village!" he exclaimed, turning to grin at them and bouncing like a little kid. "I see the village! Let's go!"

"H-Hold on!" Nami gasped, but was completely ignored. In fact, Luffy latched onto her arm and dragged her into the village at top speed, leaving an amused Robin and bickering Zoro and Sanji in their wake. "Hey! SLOW DOWN, YOU MORON!"

At this angle, it was hard to pound the feather-brain, but she managed it somehow.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Because I don't want you to drag me places!" Nami told him with a blush as she released herself from his surprisingly gentle grasp. "If you want me to come with you, ask nicely next time."

"Oh. Okay."

She sweatdropped. "You're a real simpleton."

While the others were catching up, Nami took in the quaint village. It looked to be a farm town, even though it was near the peak of a small mountain; small gardens were in the lawn of each house, growing everything from carrots to tangerines. Nami's mouth watered. Tangerines! These guys were people after her own heart. The houses themselves were like any other farm village; small, largely unimpressive, but with a distinctly homey, happy, peaceful feel to them.

Sola Village actually reminded Nami of her hometown, Cocoyashi Village.

She knew a rare moment of homesickness, and thought of her friends and family back home. How were Nojiko and Gen-san doing? And not just them, but everyone else who had supported her all those years?

"This place..." Luffy said, quiet for once, "...It reminds me of Foosha Village."

"Foosha Village?" Nami repeated, brought out of memories of home. "What's that?"

"It used to be my home until my grandpa made me go and live with mountain bandits, the Dadan Family. Everyone there was pretty cool. The bartender, Makino, gave me food for free and taught me about stuff. Mayor Woop Slap always complained about me 'n' Ace wanting to be pirates, but I think he secretly approved."

Nami blinked. "Come to think of it, I don't really know much about your life before we met in Orange Town."

"You never asked," he said simply, but didn't start explaining. The navigator wisely decided to let the subject drop. If Luffy didn't want to talk about his past, she wasn't going to force him to do so. All the Straw Hats had skeletons in their closets. Nami would be very surprised if the captain didn't have his own.

"Ah, visitors!" an unfamiliar voice exclaimed.

Captain and navigator blinked, looked left, and saw a short little man with frizzled white hair sitting on a stump. He had a Chinese build and a tattoo of the number 96 on his left arm. He looked sort of old, but rather fun for an old guy.

"Who the hell are you?" Luffy asked rudely.

"Luffy!" Nami reprimanded, hitting him over the head.

The old man just laughed. "I'm the mayor of this quaint village, but everybody calls me Farmer Riroku. Feel free to call me that as well. Welcome to the humble Sola Village!"

"So _this _is Sola Village," Zoro's voice muttered from behind them. "Doesn't look like they have good wine..."

Sanji sighed. "This idiot was so thirsty he couldn't help himself. He drank from a random pink water fountain." His spirally eyebrow twitched as he glared at the swordsman. "What if there'd been poison in that fountain, eh, moron!? Pink water ain't normal!"

Farmer Riroku's eyes widened. "Did you say the young man drank from a pink water fountain?"

"Yeah, why?" the blonde teen asked, blinking.

"Because... every edible or drinkable pink substance on this island is cursed to change the consumer into the opposite gender!"

"EH!?" the crew gasped.

"So, you mean like this peach?" Luffy asked, chewing something and holding up a half-eaten, pink-colored peach. "Is it cursed, too?"

"YES!" Riroku exclaimed, his eyes popping out of his head. "Where'd you get that!? Put that down this instant, or you could join the Moss Head with the curse!"

Zoro's eye twitched at the Moss Head jab, and Sanji smirked at him in victory. Even complete strangers agreed that Zoro's hair looked like moss!

"I found some on a tree a little ways off the path," the rubber-brained captain said simply.

"YOU COMPLETE MORON!" Nami shrieked, pounding Luffy on the back of his head. Little chunks of pink peach spray flew everywhere, and Robin calmly tilted her head so the remnants of Luffy's meal wouldn't hit her. "DON'T TELL ME YOU ALREADY ATE THAT! THROW IT AWAY RIGHT NOW!"

"Eh? But it's so good!"

She wheeled on Zoro. "AND YOU! DRINKING OUT OF RANDOM FOUNTAINS WHEN YOU KNOW THE ISLAND HAS A CURSE! WHAT THE _HELL_ WHERE YOU THINKING!?"

"It looks like Captain-san and Swordsman-san will soon be Captain-chan and Swordsman-chan unless Doctor-san can clear this up," Robin put in with her usual soft smile. The entire crew, minus Usopp and Chopper who were still back at the Merry, freaked.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, there we go. I originally had something else planned for this chapter, but when I wrote it and saved it, something weird happened and I lost almost half of my chapter. That's part of the reason why <em>How It All Began Part 2<em> took so long; I was annoyed with this story after that incident and never got around to rewriting it. I honestly don't feel like the second half was as good as it could have been, but whatever. Here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter:  
><strong>

**Thomas Drovin: **While it would be nice if they learned from this... Nope. It's Luffy and Zoro, of course they won't. XD

**DarkLord98: **Arigatou, and here ya go!

**NelielVonSchweetz: **Well, I would, but they won't really spend enough time in their girl forms to regain their strength, unlike Damon from my OP Full Blast series. Arigatou!

**jadecraze: **Ah, Arigatou! I try. XD Yep, that's gonna be some great shit. Stupid old Captain Bond won't know what hit him. lol

**Tigerluv and Pgpenguin: **While that _would_ be funnier, I thought it would just be too cruel of a thing to put Sanji through. I mean, the baka ero-cook was already sent to Okama Land, which was cruel enough. XD Well, okay, that hasn't happened yet in my story, but just sayin'.

**I'd like to make a shout-out to my deviantART friend, EzariaUmiko, for drawing the new cover art especially for this story! If you can't tell what it is, it's fem!Luffy hugging an embarrassed Nami, while an even more embarrassed fem!Zoro is scowling and trying not to look at Robin. You can see the original pic here:**

art/Lucy-and-Zoe-with-Nami-and-Robin-Colored-Version-444903392

**As usual, don't forget to follow and/or favorite this story! Doing so isn't necessary for future chapters, but I do highly appreciate it. Whenever I get a new follower or favorite, it boosts my morale and my ego. Also, please leave a review so I know your exact thoughts! I am glad that there were more reviews after last chapter. I NEED ALL THE REVIEWS FROM ALL THE PEOPLES. XD  
><strong>

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	9. The Sea King

Chapter 9: The Sea King  
><span>

Breakfast that morning was awkwardly quiet and subdued.

Now that Luffy/Lucy wasn't there to steal everyone's food and giggle obnoxiously, and Zoro/Zoe wasn't there to make fun of Sanji's cooking, ultimately resulting in one of their usual (and childish) fights, the meal had somehow lost its appeal. Even the quality of the food seemed somewhat worse than usual. It was still simply amazing, of course, because it was Sanji who cooked it, but the eggs and sea king bacon just didn't have the same... spark.

Everyone was taking the loss of their captain and unofficial first mate hard.

Nami didn't glare at anyone. Robin somehow seemed less mysterious and other-worldly than usual, and neglected to bring a book to read. Sanji squirmed restlessly in his seat, unable to fight anyone since both of the people his strength had been kidnapped. Usopp didn't spout untrue stories about himself for once in his life. The innocently bright and cheerful Chopper had a visible aura of depression over him. Even the Going Merry didn't seem to sail as merrily.

It was like someone had dragged the crew's happiness away from them and chained it up in some unknown corner of the sea. A fitting simile, considering Captain Fenrir Bond's powers.

For a while, the only thing one could hear was the solemn clinking of silverware.

Unable to take the silence any longer, Nami sighed.

"Alright, guys," she said, slamming her fist against the table with enough force to make even Robin jump. "We can't go on like this. We need to make a plan to get Luffy and Zoro - -"

"Lucy and Zoe," Usopp corrected helpfully.

"- -Lucy and Zoe back. I say we head for the Manacle Pirate's ship at full speed and launch a frontal assault."

Chopper blinked and wiped his mouth. "But that's not like you at all, Nami. That's something that..." He trailed off. Pain flashed in everyone's eyes.

"...Luffy would suggest," Sanji finished, scowling at his plate.

There was another awkward silence.

Nami groaned. "I know," the redhead sighed. "But I thought... maybe if I said something Luffy would do..." Tears built up in her eyes. "Damn it! It hasn't even been a day yet and already I miss that rubber-brained idiot!"

Usopp looked downcast. "Yeah. I know what you mean. It's so awkward not having him messing around."

"I need to kick someone," Sanji grumbled. "Stupid Zoro, getting himself kidnapped..."

Chopper sniffed. "Are we going to be alright?"

Everyone flinched and looked at him.

"Are we going to be alright?" the reindeer repeated, tears slipping out of his eyes. "Luffy and Zoro always protect us whenever we run into trouble. Now they're gone, and we're already starting to fall apart..."

The others glanced at each other.

The reindeer-human was right. Without Luffy and Zoro, they weren't exactly the Straw Hat Pirates anymore. And who was going to make sure they all survived the next Marine attack, or enemy pirate crew sighting, or even the next Sea King? Sure, they still had Sanji and Robin, but they couldn't be expected to handle everything.

There was another silence, this time broken only by Chopper's sniffles as he cried quietly.

Sanji's eyes narrowed. "Well," he said, "I think it's clear that, like we said last night, we need to get Lucy and Zoe back and turn them into Luffy and Zoro again, as quickly as possible."

"I agree," Robin said softly. Her dark hair blew gently in the slight breeze.

"Without them, a direct attack on an enemy pirate crew would amount to suicide," mused Usopp, "especially a direct attack on _those_ guys. The way I see it, we can get Lucy and Zoe back safely in two ways: catch up to them and sneak aboard the_ Chain Reaction_ at night, then find Lucy and Zoe and break them out, or follow them to that Tsuki Island place, sneak into the auction house's back room after Lucy and Zoe are dropped off, and break them out there. But either way, we'll need to avoid a confrontation with Bond and his crew at any cost."

Nami nodded thoughtfully. "Smart thinking, Usopp," she praised.

"Thanks."

"If we must avoid a confrontation, then your second option sounds the safest," Robin decided.

Chopper wiped his eyes. "Can we really get them back?" he asked tearfully.

"You bet we can," Sanji growled. "There's one problem with the second option, though. The auction house will probably use seastone to hold Lucy and Zoe back, and none of us can break through it. I've heard it's even tougher than iron. The slave auctioneer will probably have an office somewhere in the auction house, but there will likely be a strong guard hired to keep out people like us. And the auction theater will probably be packed with enemy pirates and Marines."

"Marines?" Nami gasped. "But I thought slavery was outlawed."

He shrugged. "Think the Marines care? They're the auction house's biggest source of income, besides the Celestial Dragons. If I had to guess, I'd say the Manacle Pirates probably capture a good deal of Tsuki Island's slaves, so any Marines in the area turn a blind eye to them."

"Then the slaves are sold to the Marines and the Celestial Dragons," Robin added. "The males are forced to take over the grunt work, the heavy labor like building things, while the women are forced to do things like sew the crew or division's clothes, wash them, sometimes cook, and other cleaning chores. For both, the working conditions are terrible - - little to no food, which even then is just the scraps or unwanted leftovers; little to no water; a high risk of catching disease; the most uncomfortable beds, if they are allowed to sleep on beds at all; constant mocking from the crew or division they are enslaved to; no rights whatsoever; and they are often beaten and whipped for even the slightest mistake."

Suddenly, the eggs and sea king bacon tasted like cardboard.

"That's horrible," Chopper mumbled.

"Not even Arlong was _that_ cruel," Nami gulped, her voice cracking.

Sanji rubbed his head. "That's probably because he needed you and the villagers as his source of income, and he knew if he killed too many people or was too cruel to those living, a rebellion would start. He managed to find a line that kept the villagers too afraid to attack him, but at the same time keep them afraid enough that they would meet his demands."

There was an uncomfortable silence as everyone thought about what it must be like to be a slave.

"We're going to free all the slaves on Tsuki Island," the navigator decided.

Usopp sat up straight, looking around. "Hey," he said, "do you guys feel that?"

"Feel what?" Chopper asked.

"Like... the ship is rocking."

"The ship _always_ rocks, Usopp," Sanji pointed out. "We're on the _ocean._"

He huffed. "It's rocking more than normal! And the sea's calm!"

The crew looked around.

"He's right," Nami said with a blink. "There hasn't been a very strong wind for a few hours. The waves are fairly small, and the sky's blue for miles, but Merry's rocking pretty violently."

As if on cue, Sanji's plate slid off the table and broke with a loud shatter.

"That was porcelain!" he moaned. "And it was from the West Blue, too! It took me years to find that!"

"Perhaps a large Sea King is under our ship," Robin suggested casually, ignoring the blonde chef. "If so, it's probably very hungry and is likely to attack us."

Nami, Usopp, and Chopper cried anime tears. "DON'T SAY THOSE THINGS WITH THAT CALM SMILE!"

The ero-cook perked up. "I'll protect you, Nami-chwan and Robin-swan~!"

"WHAT ABOUT US!?" Usopp and Chopper shrieked.

"You bastards are on your own."

Suddenly, though, the crew's attention was drawn to the front of their ship, where a large plume of water was erupting out of the ocean about a thousand feet from the goat figurehead. Through the mess hall's open door, they saw it rise up, up, and up even higher until it completely dwarfed the _Going Merry__. _Usopp, Nami, and Chopper let out high-pitched shrills of fright and cowered behind Sanji, while Robin raised an eyebrow, her soft smile still in place. Finally, the seawater drained off of the thing to reveal... a giant creature that looked like a cross between a hippopotamus, a cow, and a lion!

"WHAT THE HELL _IS_ THAT THING!?" Nami gasped, her forehead blue.

Chopper squeaked. "IT'S HUUUUGE!"

"IT BLOTTED OUT THE SUN!" Usopp shouted, snot hanging out of his nose, which disgusted everyone.

"What a large Sea King," Robin observed. "It must be at least three times the size of the _Going Merry_."

"MOOOO!" roared the Sea King.

Sanji blinked. "Did it just moo?"

"IT'S A COW!" Usopp yelled, slapping him with the back of his hand. "OF COURSE IT MOOED!"

"But it has the head of a lion."

Chopper gulped. "He said he hasn't eaten for five days! A large Marine division has been fishing in this part of the Grand Line so much that he doesn't have much food anymore! He wants to eat us for breakfast!"

The resident cartographer was practically hysterical. "NOOOOO! I DON'T WANT TO BE MONSTER BREAKFAST!"

"It's okay, Nami-swan~! I won't let that ugly bastard eat a single splinter of this ship~!" Sanji cooed with heart-shaped eyes. Robin giggled.

"Sanji-kun!" Usopp moaned. "Beat the living crap out of that thing!"

"Shut up. Get the cannon ready and aim it at that cow-lion-hippo thing."

The blonde dashed out of the mess hall, stripping off his black coat and jumping down to the main deck. He landed smoothly and continued running. While he was doing this, the strange Sea King had opened its ugly maw to reveal two rows of teeth with points you just couldn't get from an electric pencil sharpener. It had then proceeded to swim furiously straight towards the Going Merry, its gaping mouth and rough-looking tongue ready to swallow the small caravel whole.

Sanji tensed his legs. The only thing that shitty swordsman was good for was warming up the blond's legs. Since Zoro had been kidnapped, however, they hadn't been able to start one of their breakfast battles, and the chef's legs were still fairly stiff from yesterday's battle with that okama weirdo.

The sea-faring monster loomed over them, throwing a dark shadow across the entire ship like a black blanket. Sanji glared furiously straight into its eyes.

"Bastard!" he growled. "Don't you dare try to eat Nami-chwan and Robin-chwan!" The snappily-dressed cook flipped over into a handstand, pushed off the ground, flipped, and landed with another handstand. He repeated this process until he had reached the edge of the goat figurehead. Then, he gave one final push with his hands that blasted him into the air and over the sea, his knees bent.

"Troisième Hachée!" Sanji yelled. When he was just a few inches from the Sea King's lion head, he straightened his legs and served it a tremendously powerful double-footed kick to the face. It mooed in agony and reared back, effectively stopped in its tracks. Sanji wasn't done yet, though. He curled up into a ball and flipped enough times to give an Olympic diver motion sickness. When he had gained enough momentum, he pushed one leg out so it slammed into the beast's forehead, shouting, "CONCASSER!"

The bone-crushing force of the heel slam caused the Sea King to open its mouth again.

Nami whooped. "Great job, Sanji-kun!"

Sanji landed on its forehead and looked at the cannon, into which Usopp had finished loading a special cannonball and which he was now standing beside, ready to light the fuse.

"Usopp, fire away!" he called, leaping off the beast and landing on the front deck of the beloved _Merry_.

The liar saluted. "Aye, aye!" He then pulled his sharpshooting goggles over his eyes and aimed his cannon at the Sea King. Normally, the cannon wouldn't be used to fire at targets in front of Kaya's ship, since it was located at the back, but this particular enemy was so close and so large it didn't really matter. Knowing this, Usopp made sure the cannon was pointing at a spot that would ensure the cannonball's chosen flight path - - straight into the Sea King's open mouth. It was. Usopp grinned and lit the fuse with a match. "Sure Kill, Egg Cannon!"

With a resounding _BOOM!_, the cannonball, which had been hollowed out and filled with rotten eggs, exploded out of the cannon and sailed in a perfect line, slamming into the back of the creature's mouth and falling down its throat. It had struck the enemy with enough force that the hollowed iron ball burst open and poured its contents into the target's stomach. The beast writhed in agony, but froze a second later. Its eyes turned into comical, dizzy spirals as it exhaled yellow smoke and fell backwards into the water.

_If there's one thing I'm good at,_ Usopp thought contentedly, _it's shooting._

Sanji and Usopp strolled back to the mess hall from different sides of the ship. The chef had to scoop his jacket off the deck and shrug it back on. It was only when he returned to his seat that he remembered his porcelain plate had been shattered beyond repair.

"That was amazing, Usopp!" Chopper cheered, his eyes sparkling in delight and praise. "You shot it right in the mouth!"

He grinned as he sat down in his seat and cleared his throat. "Well, I _am_ the best sniper around, you know. Why, I'm so good, I beat the legendary bounty hunter, Daddy the Father, in a sharpshooting contest on Sniper Island - - when I was just four years old!"

Chopper's eyes lit up even brighter. "WHOA! THAT'S SO COOL~!"

"Liar," Nami muttered. "It was just a couple of months ago, and the duel was in Loguetown. I don't think there even _is_ a place called Sniper Island."

The reindeer deflated. "What!? It was a lie!?"

"Um - - a half-truth," Usopp decided.

The redhead rolled her eyes. "More like a third-truth."

"Oi."

Nobody was looking at Robin due to Sanji once again moaning about his porcelain, Nami and Usopp bickering, and Chopper glancing between the two like it was an interesting tennis match, but the dark-haired woman's smile widened past its usual limits into a rare, true smile. The archaeologist felt warm and happy. It looked like the seemingly normal battle had made the four forget the hopelessness and helplessness being left without a captain had incited within them.

It was time to move forward to the next island, Uchinuku Island, and hopefully get a chance to take back their captain and first mate.

* * *

><p><strong>There ya go - - another chapter at last! I had to go look up Sanji's attacks again, because for some reason I can't remember them as well as the rest of the crew's. Also, I know that Usopp doesn't actually have hollowed out cannonballs filled with rotten eggs in canon, but I figured if he fills his normal Sure-Kill Stars with that kind of stuff, it would make sense for him to do the same with cannonballs. I wanted to include this chapter because it showed that even though Luffy and Zoro are a big part of the crew's strength, the others would still be mostly okay if the two were, for some reason, unavailable. It also showed that just like normal humans, the Straw Hats would feel lonely and upset if one (or in this case, two) of their number went missing.<strong>** There also had to be a way for them to get over that helpless feeling.  
><strong>

**Also, the other day, I tried out for the part of Peter van Daan in **_The_ _Diary of Anne Frank_ **(the play version, obviously), which is going to be put on soon by a local theater in a town near me. I think I have a good chance of getting the part, so that might interfere with my writing schedule. Not that I actually have a writing schedule. lol**

**Don't forget to follow/favorite my story; though it is not necessary to keep me writing, it will allow you to be notified whenever I update chapters. I tend to update randomly, so if you have enjoyed this fanfiction so far, a wise decision would be to at least follow. I really appreciate reviews, too, so please leave one if you feel like it! I'm always happy to know what my fans are thinking, and I read all reviews!**

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	10. The Other Captive

Chapter 10: The Other Captive

To say that Monkey D. Lucy and Roronoa Zoe were not too happy about their current situation would be an understatement.

For one, they would accidentally catch themselves using their feminized names when thinking about themselves lately. It didn't help that Zoe (who was, of course, Zoro) was especially prideful on a daily basis. Oh, yeah, and then there was the small fact that they were _beat up, barely able to move, so hungry it felt like their stomachs were trying to chew out of their shirt, and couldn't even see anything._

"This _sucks_," Lucy moaned. "I'm a girl and I'm _hungry_. And these damn boobs are _heavy_."

Zoe rolled her eyes. "Shut up. At least you _have_ some."

"You'd actually want my chest?" the genderbent captain said incredulously.

"Well, if I'm a girl now, I at least want to look cool and not like some okama."

Apparently, Lucy's (unofficial) first mate was more worried about her appearance than she'd thought.

It was three days after their attempted escape, the operative word here being 'attempted.' It had failed miserably. The had successfully beat the crap out of the Manacle Pirates' underlings, even those two twins with the weird magnet powers, and they had thought they were going to be able to reunite with the rest of the Straw Hats - - wherever they were. Unfortunately for them, the Monster Trio of the Manacle Pirate - - Captain Fenrir Bond; his wife, Fenrir Kane; and his disgusting, kickboxing okama of a first mate, Byakuya Joso - - had interrupted their progress and promptly beat the shit out of them. Then Bond himself had wrapped them head-to-toe in pretty much unbreakable seastone chains, dragged them to a cell even deeper in the ship than the one they'd been in before, and unceremoniously tossed them in it, locking the door firmly.

The cell was dark enough that neither could even see the floor - - which their faces was currently smushed against.

Lucy really hated being a girl. Those despicable boobs of hers really didn't help matters. Did she mention that she despised having boobs?

"I hate boobs," she muttered. Her rubbery cheek was laying uncomfortably on the cold, wooden boards.

Zoe looked at her strangely. "Did you seriously just say that? Are you even male?"

The brunette stared at her.

"...Oh. Right."

For her part, Zoe was having a tough time adjusting to the curse, too. Ever since she'd been turned into a girl, it was like she had Multiple Personality Syndrome. One part of her wanted to accept her new femininity and run off to try on clothes with Nami and Robin, which was kind of degrading. The other, more sensible part wanted to slice something into barely visible slivers... preferably this stupid ship, the _Chain Reaction_.

Besides that, she hated feeling so_ weak_. The last time she'd felt like this had been back at that sea restaurant, the Baratie, when Dracule Mihawk sliced her chest open with the largest damn sword in the world.

_'Come to think of it,' _Zoe mused, _'it actually might be for the best that I don't have a big chest. It'd look pretty damn awkward if I had a scar running diagonally across two melons.'_

Damn. This whole misadventure was an insult to her male pride.

For a while, neither captain nor first mate said anything.

"You think... Nami and the others are okay?" Lucy said after a couple minutes. Her voice cracked a little, which surprised Zoe. It almost sounded like the straw-hatted brunette was... worried? She tried to look at her captain's expression, but the darkness was an unyielding void.

The Marimo's answer was firm. "Of course."

There was another silence.

Zoe wriggled awkwardly. The chains wrapped around her tightly, restricting all movement like a hug from an overly excited and overweight aunt. She vaguely wondered if this was how caterpillars felt in cocoons.

Lucy's stomach growled more than a starving bear's.

"_So hungry..._" she groaned.

Her subordinate grunted. "Complaining about it won't solve anything."

Zoe's own stomach threatened to rebel, too. Although it was hard to tell in a room this dark, she suspected it was at least eleven in the morning, and neither pirate had had anything to eat since breakfast the day of the Manacle Pirates' initial attack. That had taken place just before lunch. They'd only been allowed out of the cell to go to the bathroom, and even then, they had seastone collars clamped around their necks.

Starving sucked. Being a girl sucked. Being flat-chested sucked. Being imprisoned sucked _ass_.

Zoe wondered what was wrong with them. Usually, neither captain nor swordsman (swordswoman?) complained as much as they did lately.

Suddenly, the ship stopped moving (though the rocking continued).

Their was the grating sound of chains rattling against each other. Zoe suspected Lucy was trying to sit up.

"What happened?" the latter wondered. "Why have we stopped moving?"

Zoe narrowed her green eyes. "I'm not sure... but I think we've just arrived at the next island."

* * *

><p>A few keenly boring hours passed. Nothing much happened until a lesser crew member brought them lunch, which consisted of one small bowl of leek soup each. Their chains were unlocked long enough for them to eat it. They were so weak from hunger that they didn't even think about attacking the guard. The broth was cold, the vegetables brittle and tasteless, but it was the first meal they'd had in days, and they sucked down every last drop.<p>

The guard made sure their chains were fitted once more. As he closed the door behind them, he paused and looked back inside, his expression somewhat regretful.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, looking away from the surprised duo. "I hate our involvement in the slave trade. It doesn't feel natural. Selling humans... If I had a chance, I'd get you two out of here in a heart beat, but I can't." His voice cracked. "They know I have a family. If I mutiny, Bond will... he'll kill my wife and kids. He's already done it to others who've mutinied..."

With a final "Sorry," the man eased the door shut and turned the lock.

Lucy and Zoe stared after him.

"Well," the swordswoman said after a beat, "that was unexpected."

The brunette was silent.

* * *

><p>It was late in the evening. Boredom had once again taken over like an unwelcome spirit. The cold leek soup from earlier didn't satisfy either pirate's hunger; it only rubbed salt on their open wounds. Zoe tried to fall asleep, but found that she couldn't under the circumstances... and when <em>Zoe<em> couldn't manage to fall asleep, something was seriously wrong.

The door opened again. Lucy and Zoe futilely attempted to roll over and see why.

The voice of Fenrir Bond sneered, "Hey, ya damn cuties."

"Don't call us cute!" Lucy exploded venomously. Now that light was entering the room from the hall, Zoe could see her struggle violently to stand up. "I'm going to beat your ass, Bond! You've gone too far!"

"What have I done?" he sneered, sounding amused. "I'm just making a living. In case you're wondering, we haven't stopped at Tsuki Island yet. There's another island in between Taiyo and Tsuki - - Uchinuku, the island of martial artists. We have to stop here on Uchinuku Island for a while and wait for the Log to set. But don't worry! It'll only take another two days, and it's another four days worth of sailing to get to Tsuki, so if all goes well, you'll be able to meet your new owners by next Monday!"

"Bastard!" Zoe spat.

There was the sound of footsteps, as well as much kicking and screaming.

"The Weimer girl's here, Cap'n," said Byakuya the Okama dryly. He pronounced it like _vime-er_.

Along with an increase in kicking, an unfamiliar female voice screamed, "Let me go, you pervert cross-dresser! Your armpit smells worse than a skunk sprayed with rotten eggs! Let me go! Lemmego!" Whoever the girl was, she had a strong accent neither Zoe nor Lucy had ever heard before.

"Shut up, slave."

"Jerk! I ain't no slave!"

"Oh, I almost forgot," Bond cackled. "We have company for you. Play nice! I wouldn't want my produce to kill themselves. Toodles!"

_WHUMP_.

"Ouch!" the girl complained. "Hey, don't just drop me like that! I think I fell on my funny bone. Hey, don't walk away, cackling like an evil witch or something! Get back here so I can give you a piece of my mind! Hey! Hey!"

The door slammed shut.

Darkness once again seeped through the very fabric of the atmosphere.

"Nobody who says 'toodles' should be trusted," the girl muttered.

Zoe raised an eyebrow. "Little late to be realizing that."

"So, who the hell are you?" Lucy wondered rather rudely.

There was the sound of rustling chains. "Eh? There's more people in this place? Where are you!? Let me at you! Let me out of these chains and I'll fight you myself! I've got a fifth degree black belt, ya know!"

"Calm down," Zoe sighed. "We're in the same position as you. What's your name?"

"Isn't it more polite to introduce yourself first?" the girl shot back quickly.

"...Okay, my name's Roronoa Zoe. My captain's Monkey D. Lucy, but don't bother looking for either of us because it's so dark you can't even see an inch in front of your face."

"You have a fifth degree black belt!?" Lucy gasped. "Whoa! Sugoi! I wanna fight you!"

The girl's tone was that of a deadpan. "Late reaction. Anyway, my name's Weimer Quinn, but I guess you can just call me Quinn. I live here on Uchinuku Island, but the Manacle Pirates dropped in on us again this morning and kidnapped me. A few more of our villagers are in the cell above us. I tried to escape through the giant hole in the side of the ship, but apparently they didn't like that too much, so here I am."

Zoe blinked.

_Zoe examined the walls, which curved in a little. The ship hadn't been designed too well, she could tell, because the wood was starting to rot. Raising an eyebrow, she strutted to the wall and ran a finger across it while Lucy watched with confusion._

_"Oi, Zoe, is that stuff on that wall food?" she asked, her stomach growling again. Now that they weren't being forced into all kinds of clothes by Nami and Robin, the straw-hatted 'man' seemed totally fine with the genderbending, as if it happened every day. Zoe briefly wondered how she did it._

_"No!" the feminized man snapped. Damn, was it hard to maintain a calm exterior when her swords were gone. Without them, she didn't feel complete. "It's rot! Oi, think you can punch through this wall here, even though we're both weaker like this?"_

_Lucy picked her nose nonchalantly. "Yeah, no biggie. I was fighting pretty on par with that Bon-Bon guy. He just cheated. I've got this._

_"Gum-Gum... PISTOL!"_

"Yeah..." she said with a sweatdrop. "We kinda did that."

"Did what?" Quinn asked.

Zoe could practically here Lucy's casual shrug. "The hole in the wall."

She exploded in laughter. "What!? No way! Dude, that's awesome! I'm dying here! When Bond's fugly wife saw that hole, she was _furious_! Her face looked like she swallowed a lemon or something! Her lips puckered up and her face got all red and her black make-up started to run - - it was _hilarious_!"

Lucy chortled. "Shishishi! That sounds like it was great! Wish we coulda seen it!"

Zoe's stomach growled and she was suddenly thankful for the intense darkness. If there had been light, Lucy and Quinn would've seen her blushing.

"You must be hungry," said Quinn. "Tell ya what. My big bro owns a hamburger joint on the west side of the island. He's kind of incapacitated right now, but when he comes and gets us out of here, I'll treat you two. He's a very friendly person, so he shouldn't mind."

"You're my best friend," Lucy told her solemnly.

* * *

><p><strong>Alright! There it is, folks! This chapter was thankfully updated a lot sooner than others. I really like Quinn's character. She's sarcastic, strong, and definitely not your average damsel in distress - - even spitting insults right in Bond and Joso's faces, although they don't seem to be bothered too greatly by said insults. I couldn't give any sort of description about her at all in this chapter, since the cell they're in as darker than night and neither Zoro nor Luffy could get a good look at her, but don't worry. The description will come soon. Okay, here are my replies to reviews on the previous chapter (again, not that many).<br>**

**Thomas Drovin: **Yep! The Straw Hats are the Straw Hats no matter what the situation. XD Except for during the Baron Omatsuri movie. That was some freakin' _serious_ shit. Anyway, thank you! And never trust a person who says 'toodles!'

**Kei-kei Yuki: **Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! Let me know when you post your one-shot and I'll check it out. :)

**Thank you to all my wonderful fans who have been supporting this story! To all you new readers, I'd really appreciate it if you'd follow and/or favorite this totally original story. I don't find it necessary to keep me writing, but doing so would be helpful to you, since I tend to update my stories COMPLETELY RANDOMLY. I do not have any kind of schedule. When I feel like writing, I write. It's as simple as that. Also, please, please, please review! I want to know everyone's thoughts on how I'm doing and two reviews doesn't really help all that much! Actually, it kind of demotivates me. Please leave a review!**

**-TheRealEvanSG**

**p.s. LEAVE A REVIEW!**


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